Pocho Ocho reasons Republicans think Romney was defeated

Gov. Willard “Mitt” Romney lost big last night and the finger pointing has begun. Here are the GOP’s Pocho Ocho top excuses for the defeat:

8. Donald Trump bad hair day
7. Matlock marathon suppressed old white people vote
6. Cheap imported Chinese binders couldn’t hold the women required for victory
5. It would have been easier for Mitt if he were a Latino
4. GOP “ground game” reliance on white boys in short-sleeved dress shirts on bicycles outclassed by Dems with iPads
3. Billions of dollars doesn’t buy elections the way it used to
2. Pinche Big Bird

And the numero uno reason Republicans think Mitt lost is…

Write-in votes for Mexican Mitt Romney