As POCHO amigo Gustavo Arellano noted Friday, Chipotle Mexican Grill pulled a boner when it decided to put short stories from ten famous authors on its cups and bags but couldn’t find one Latino with words worthy enough to wrap its burritos.
There’s now a Facebook book group organizing around this issue and the Pochodores have been brainstorming inspirational packaging ideas as well.
First off all, short stories? Srsly? TL;DR, amiright?
Here are the Pocho Ocho more upworthy Latino quotes Chipotle should have used:
8. There’s a reason you separate the military and the police. One fights the enemies of the state, the other serves and protects the people. When the military becomes both, then the enemies of the state tend to become the people. (Commander William Adama.)
7. Repression….Recession. It’s all the same thing, man. (Cheech Marin.)
6. In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face some day. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous guy who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be the actual El Guapo. (Lucky Day.)
5. Machete don’t text. (Machete.)
4. Wait Ritchie, look. I understand about friendship… but I’m being honest here. Not everyone in the world gets a shot at the “brass ring.” You’re gonna have to ask yourself what’s more important, your friends… or your music. (Bob Keene.)
3. All that other stuff, all that history? To hell with it, right? Forget the Alamo. (Pilar Cruz.)
2. When Mousie and me joined our gang, all the names were taken except ‘Mousie’ and ‘Sad Girl.’ Everyone said Maribel should be ‘Mousie’ cuz she was so little. Sleepy said “No stupid because then we’re gonna have to name Mona ‘Sad Girl’ and she’s not sad at all.” Rascal said “Stupid, it don’t matter.” Sleepy was mad and kept saying “She’s too happy to be ‘Sad Girl.'” But they don’t say that to me no more. (Sad Girl.)
And the numero uno more appropriate upworthy Latino quote Chipotle should have used is…
We didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us! (Everyone.)
EresNerd, Comic Saenz and Victor Payan contributed to this report.