Pocho Ocho Way Woke Pickup Lines for Valentine’s Day 2020


Love is in the air for Valentine’s Day.

Is there a way for the politically active pocha or pocho, Chicano, Chicana, Chican@ and/or Latinx (Gustavo Arellano calls them “wokosos”) to get lucky AND make the world a better place?

Yes, there is, in our list of the Pocho Ocho Way Woke Pickup Lines you can use for Valentine’s Day:

8. What do we want? A quiet romantic dinner for two! When do we want it? Wednesday night — what do you think — 8-ish?

7. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a MEChA like this?

6. Is that a GMO-free organic sustainably-raised earth-friendly heirloom local family farm non-corporate elote in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Mas…Pocho Ocho Way Woke Pickup Lines for Valentine’s Day 2020

Chevy’s Traverse is for Mexicans who don’t need a huge-ass Suburban but still want something sleek

I get along well enough with my neighbors, but we really don’t talk. That’s why it was surprising to me when I got a knock on my door one night from the lady across the street.

She had never talked to me before, even though she and her family have lived in my hood for years. But now, la vecina was all smiles and excitement.

“So is that a Chevrolet Traverse in front of your house?” she asked. Why yes, it was!

“Did you buy it?”

Nope, it was a test drive.

“When you’re done with it, can you let me know what you thought?” she said. “Because I want to get one, but my husband wants to go with a Toyota.

Better conversation than her asking me to not play Los Bukis so loud, amirite?

Mas…Chevy’s Traverse is for Mexicans who don’t need a huge-ass Suburban but still want something sleek

GMC’s Terrain is a baby SUV with teenaged style and big boy verve

Photo Courtesy GMC

A couple of years ago, the wifey and I were just outside Albany, Kentucky (pronounced “Al-BANE-EE” down there), when my dad’s 2005 GMC Yukon told me something it had never shared before.

“LOW TIRE PRESSURE” a sensor on the dashboard screamed once I went to turn on the ignition, a sensor I didn’t even know existed.

I went outside to see whether the Yukon’s rudimentary (nowadays) computer was going loco, but dagnabbit, it was true. There was a big nail in the left tire.

We had to drive about 20 miles to the nearest tire shop, where a good ol’ boy patched the hole for $5. “Those GMCs know more than God sometimes,” he said. “Great SUVs.”

Mas…GMC’s Terrain is a baby SUV with teenaged style and big boy verve

The 2018 Enclave SUV proves Buick’s cutesy ads tell the truth

So you remember those cutesy Buick commercials from the past couple of years, the series that featured a chirpy synth soundtrack and beautiful people being surprised that beautiful people drive the General Motors brand and they all say “Is that a Buick” or some phrase of disbelief?

And how you laughed at the commercials, because no way on Earth would strangers or friends really congratulate you for driving a Buick?

Mas…The 2018 Enclave SUV proves Buick’s cutesy ads tell the truth

I have been awaiting Anthony Bourdain’s “Parts Unknown” all my life

I have been waiting for something like Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown all my life.

Really.

The CNN season premiere April 30  was a watershed moment for Chicanos and Mexican Americans.

Here’s what I Tweeted the night I saw it:

Mas…I have been awaiting Anthony Bourdain’s “Parts Unknown” all my life

Tamaleros on every corner are a good idea, too (videos)


See the guy with the tamales in the hot box on wheels? He’s well-known in San Pedro, home of the Port of Los Angeles, on the south side of the City of Angels. This vato — The Tamale Guy — even has his own reviews (good ones!) on Yelp:

tamaleguyreview

Legalizing street vendors like the Tamale Guy is one of the key elements of the Manifesto of The Taco Truck Party, announced on POCHO last week by our Associate Naranjero Gustavo ¡Ask a Mexican! Arellano.

Via our friends at LatinoLA.com, here’s an academic analysis of the issues involved:

Why the City of Los Angeles Should Legalize Street Vending

Street entrepreneurs should not be criminalized

By Vanessa Alcantar and Robert D. Flores Jr.

“¡Tamales! ¡Tamales! ¡Tamales!”

Growing up in the East L.A. and Pico Union neighborhoods of Los Angeles, this shouting is something everybody in the neighborhood is accustomed to because it provides a sense of home. To everyone in our households, this is the cue to scour through the house for cash and hurry outside to catch the tamale lady in time before she takes off.

Mas…Tamaleros on every corner are a good idea, too (videos)

The Taco Truck Party Manifesto: Make America Asada Again (video, toon)

tacotruckpartylogo
We Are The Taco Truck Party
Here’s Our Plan To Make America Asada Again

The reaction to last week’s dark warning by a Latino Trump supporter that unchecked Mexicans will lead to “taco trucks on every corner” has exposed a beautiful truth: America loves loncheras.

But far too many taco fans only think of the food and not the people who make it. They fight to legalize carne asada, but not the millions of raza without papers in this country whose comida they happily grub.#tacotrucksoneverycorner is the perfect opportunity to educate the unwoke—and that’s why we formed The Taco Truck Party.

People will trash Mexicans all day and the nation shrugs, but say one bad word against the taco truck down the street, and America revolts—and rightfully so.

The taco truck represents America at its finest: multicultural, forward-thinking, entrepreneurial, and with al pastor always, slowly twirling. They have spread from their birthplace of Los Angeles to all points of the United States, with street vendors and the chorizo guy who sells door to door not far behind.

But this important constituency has no national party fighting for them—until now.

Mas…The Taco Truck Party Manifesto: Make America Asada Again (video, toon)

Chef with beard invents a grilled-cheese ‘taco’ that isn’t a quesadilla

grilledcheesetacoAs our esteemed Associate Naranjero Gustavo ¡Ask a Mexican! Arellano has pointed out over and over, the taco is American as apple pie.

That’s why we weren’t surprised when we read reports of a marvelous new American “taco” creation, the grilled-cheese taco.

Although we think the so-called Elite Daily’s headline asserting that “You’ll Never Need a Tortilla Again” betrays the bleak gustatory horizons of an editor who has never eaten a proper tortilla (see videos below), we are thankful she included a link to the original recipe.

Originator FoodInMyBeard blog (original recipes and mashups by Dan Whalen) lays out the rationale:

Mas…Chef with beard invents a grilled-cheese ‘taco’ that isn’t a quesadilla

A funny thing happened on the way to ‘Bordertown’

BordertownBarracudaEPNHola. I’m Lalo Alcaraz. You might know me.

I have been a Chicano political cartoonist forever. I know, I know, it’s God’s work, you’re welcome. Now, all of a sudden I’m a primetime TV writer and producer. Huh? Yes, the last two years in my life have been a super WTF. With ten percent LOL. #facepalm

Like it or not, I am now part of a historic pop culture moment: the first season of the first animated primetime TV show featuring a large cast of Mexican and Mexican-American characters: Bordertown.

Mas…A funny thing happened on the way to ‘Bordertown’

Roots of Chicano Satire: Lalo Guerrero and Culture Clash (videos)


Before there was Bordertown, there was The Culture Clash show. Only about TWENTY-SOMETHING YEARS AGO, so SUCK IT humorless haters!

(It was my first showbiz writing gig!) Big props and eternal thanks to the Culture Clash guys!

And before all of us, there was LALO GUERRERO doing Chicano satire, hell, INVENTING it! Check out Guerrero’s singing There’s No Chicanos on TV!

Mas…Roots of Chicano Satire: Lalo Guerrero and Culture Clash (videos)

Pope visits a (non-Catholic) megachurch in ‘Bordertown’ [video]

First BORDERTOWN Clip! “The Pope Visits the Mexifornia MegaChurch” Bordertown premieres January 3, 930 pm on Fox. We’re all going to hell!

Posted by Lalo Alcaraz on Monday, December 14, 2015

….

If the Facebook ^^^^ video won’t play, try this [it may take a minute to load]:

Mas…Pope visits a (non-Catholic) megachurch in ‘Bordertown’

Lalo Alcaraz: My Excellent Texalent ‘Bordertown’ Adventure (photos)

crackerbarrelmcallen(TUESDAY, OCTOBER 20 2015 – TEXAS, USA) I’m “on tour” in South Texas, down along the border, screening episodes of the animated series Bordertown, which debuts next year on FOX.

It’s exotic! The indigenous cuisine served ^^^ at the Cracker Barrel Old Country Store, in McAllen, is like nothing I’ve previously encountered – it’s “quirky.” And I was surrounded by crackers; barrels not so much.

Mas…Lalo Alcaraz: My Excellent Texalent ‘Bordertown’ Adventure (photos)

Lalo Alcaraz: My Big Fat Mexican Detroit Weekend (photos)

detroitfI spent several days in Detroit this weekend with the UNITY Diversity in Journalism group, bringing our perspective as journalists of color to two vibrant local communities.

We had a panel at the gorgeous Arab American National Museum in Dearborn, and discussed the situation of Arab American media portrayals from our varied panelists.

At the end of this fruitful panel, I brought up how my last name Alcaraz, has Arabic language roots, and how I looked it up online to translate it. I was hopping it meant, Great Warrior, or Smart Guy, but instead it came up as “The Cherry.”

Mas…Lalo Alcaraz: My Big Fat Mexican Detroit Weekend (photos)

Clip y Save: Fall screenings of ‘Bordertown,’ maybe near you *UPDATED

bordertownIf you follow POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz and me, POCHO Associate Naranjero Gustavo Arellano, you know that we’ve been shamelessly promoting the upcoming FOX animated cartoon, Bordertown.

In case you’re just some random Googler who stumbled across this page, here’s the synopsis: BORDERTOWN satirizes life on the U.S.-Mexico border — la migra, changing demographics, religion, the drug war, and so much more.

Yeah, part of it is shameless self-promotion — I’m a consultant, while Lalo is a staff writer. But we’re doing it because we truly do believe this series is the Great Brown Hope: the network program that will finally show raza in all our hilarious, proud, chingón glory and that will become a ratings smash that’ll allow the beginning of #televisionreconquista.

Mas…Clip y Save: Fall screenings of ‘Bordertown,’ maybe near you *UPDATED

Gustavo Arellano to UC Riverside grads: ‘You are secular saints’

gusgradSaturday morning, I had the honor of giving the commencement speech at UC Riverside’s College of Arts, Humanities, and Social Sciences for their Sociology, Philosophy, Neuroscience, and Psychology students (what a mouthful!).

Following are my prepared remarks, which I mostly hewed to. I did begin my speech with an explanation of what ustedes and y’all meant, and the pocos pero locos line was improvised and laughed at by about three people.

Anyhoo, enjoy!

Let’s start with an experiment, shall we?

I want all the psychology majors to stand up? Applaud them, por favor, for getting to this special day.

Mas…Gustavo Arellano to UC Riverside grads: ‘You are secular saints’

Can Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano finish OC’s hottest burger? (video)


Can intrepid POCHO Associate Naranjero Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano and OC Weekly colleague Nick Schou make it through the Nuke Burger, said to be the hottest/spiciest hamburger in Orange County?

How spicy is it? The OC Weekly’s Charles Lam reports:

The Nuke Burger [at Bombburger in Huntington Beach] is quite possibly the spiciest burger in Orange County at the moment, featuring a who’s who’s list of hottest peppers in the world (Scorpion and Reaper for you pepper heads, as well as Ghost Pepper Jack Cheese).