(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) Marisa Rodriguez just wanted to look “fresh” for the summer.
What she didn’t want was the public humiliation from finding out the blue contact lenses she bought at the Mothers’ Day car show and swap meet at Traders’ Village didn’t actually make her look fresh, or more white.
“It happened at school when one of my classmates laughed at me when I asked him if he noticed something different about me,” the Harlandale High School junior tearfully told PNS.
“Justin is a bully, he just laughed at said I had a nopal on my forehead and that I looked lame with these blue contacts!”
Can you donate $20 or $50 so we can make more ñews y satire?
Doubling the pain, Rodriguez’s hopes of impressing Justin Castro enough to make him her boyfriend were dashed by the realization that the $10 pair of contacts actually don’t look like her real eyes.
“I mean, I have brown eyes, the lenses were blue, I didn’t think anybody would notice in a bad way,” she said.
While she realized that leaving on Friday with brown eyes and returning Monday with blue eyes was going to be strange, she expect her classmates to remark that she looked sophisticated or more grown up. Instead, her blue contacts stoked the ire of her physics class in particular, where just because she’s the top student, everyone thinks she’s “creída.”
“I’m not creída, I’m just smarter than everyone in that class,” she told PNS. “I thought these contacts were my ticket to fitting in more, but I was wrong!”
Rodriguez was reluctant to admit that she was going for a “more white” look with the contacts, but did say her role model was someone she could relate to on a personal level — Jennifer Aniston.
“She’s just been through a lot, you know? I get that,” she told PNS before breaking down in tears. “Now I understand her struggle!”
We ruined a perfectly lovely photograph by Matat Levin via National Geographic for a cheap joke. We hope you’re satisfied now.