Mascot Madness! Brazil’s Mr. Balls, meet India’s Mr. Poo (NSFW video)

ballsandpooThis story is not about the shameful racist pro sports team mascots that purport to honor Native Americans. It’s about icky Senhor Testiculo (photo, above left), the mascot of Brazil’s cancer society, who we think has just been “out-grossed” by Mr. Poo (photo, right), who comes to us from UNICEF in India.

Señor Poo is central to a publicity campaign to urge kids in India to Take the Poo to the Loo (instead of taking a dump somewhere in the open.)

Mas…Mascot Madness! Brazil’s Mr. Balls, meet India’s Mr. Poo (NSFW video)

Dear Abuelita: Toad in a hole, wolf at the door, hitting the G-spot

Dear Abeulita:
Hi, I am sorry for this message because it may get to you as surprise but it’s because of the situation of things right now. I want use this opportunity to explain my problem.

I was here in London on vacation with my family but yesterday thing changed because i was mugged at hotel we are staying. The worse of it is that bags, cash and cards and my cell phone was stolen at during the incident and it’s such a crazy experience for us. Now, we stranded here without any money with us and we to need fly back home. Although we are so happy that we are physically OK and our passport still save with us.

We have been to police to make report about the incident but the best help they could render to us is that they took us to the embassy. Now, embassy have arrange a flight for us which was schedule on 15th of August but we don’t want to wait long anymore before we can get back home. I have been able to raise some money for the ticket but we are still short of little cash to complete the money and I will appreciate if you can be able to help us out with the little cash that we need.

I promise that i will pay you back any amount you can loan me as soon as i get back home. I will like you to get back to me as soon as possible Thanks you,
Signed, Your Nephew Carlos Abuelito

Dear Imposter,
Mentiroso, I don’t have a nephew Carlos and if I did he would never be a bleeding wanker like you. Instead he would enjoy an extended holiday in London, mostly indulging in British cuisine.

Mas…Dear Abuelita: Toad in a hole, wolf at the door, hitting the G-spot

Dear Abuelita: I howl like a dog in my sleep – could I be horny?

Dear Abuelita,
Early this morning while I was sleeping I thought my Jack-Chi dog Chacho was howling from his chair in the living room. (He enjoys the wing-backed chair with the mauve chenille cushion.) I called out for him to come to me. My roommate (my ex who is still legally my husband) came into my room and asked if I was OK. He told me I was the one who was howling, not Chacho! What is happening to me?
Howling into the Night

Dear Night Howler,
Aye, mija, it sounds like you’re in heat and it’s no wonder. You’ve got a dog who sleeps in a cushioned wing-backed chair and an ex (who is still legally your husband) living under your roof. The combined testosterone pollution is making you howl like a horny bitch. If you don’t do something soon you’re bound to start dragging your nalgas around on the carpet and resort to licking yourself in public.

Mas…Dear Abuelita: I howl like a dog in my sleep – could I be horny?