The most popular names in California? Garcia, Hernandez, y Lopez

We’ve been mocking Ancestry’s DNA test commercials for a while because we can.

Ancestry also has a lot of vital data from its members and research, like what surnames are most popular in the 50 states.

Turns out California tops Texas in the Reconquista; the most popular names in Califas are Garcia, Hernandez and Lopez. Texas has a SMITH stuck between Garcia and Martinez, while New Mexico represents with Garcia, Martinez and Chavez. Make your own jokes about Arizona.

PREVIOUSLY ON ANCESTRY DNA:

Mas…The most popular names in California? Garcia, Hernandez, y Lopez

Ancestry DNA test shocker: ‘Hispanic’ is not my ethnicity (video)


Livie was lost. She thought she was “Hispanic,” a meaningless category created by the U.S. government for the census, but after she tested her DNA with Ancestry, she found out she was — wait for it — all mixed up. Mestizo, so to speak.

Well, I got bad news for you, Livie. Olivia, possibly? You look Mexican to me. In fact, you kinda look like my Tia Chayo from Tijuana.

Mas…Ancestry DNA test shocker: ‘Hispanic’ is not my ethnicity (video)

Gene genie: Mexico is happier than the average bear because science

happymexicanWhy are Mexicans happier than the average bear?

It’s in their genes, according to a new scientific paper, which asserts that nations with the highest prevalence of the A allele also perceive themselves happiest — countries like Ghana and Nigeria in West Africa, and northern Latin American nations like Mexico and Columbia.

Science Daily has the deets:

Mas…Gene genie: Mexico is happier than the average bear because science

Breaking: Scientists ID ’empty the trash’ gene in male DNA

trashguy(PNS reporting from BOSTON) Geneticists at Boston University have discovered the gene in men that gives them the strength, stamina and expertise to take out the trash.

According to an article published Monday in the journal Science, the gene is located near other genetic material that corresponds to mens’ inherent superior ability to mow the lawn and open tight jar lids.

Mas…Breaking: Scientists ID ’empty the trash’ gene in male DNA

Totally scientific proof and I’m not kidding: Men make women crazy

(PNS reporting from SEATTLE) Women now have scientific proof of what they suspected all along: men make you crazy.

The groundbreaking study conducted here by the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center  proves what women have suspected all along.

The technical explanation? Women who give birth to boys retain male DNA in their brains and therefore they go batshit crazy.

The study found that in 63% of women, male DNA from their fetus was able to cross the blood-brain barrier and continue to exist inside the mother’s brain, even into old age.

Mas…Totally scientific proof and I’m not kidding: Men make women crazy

Bill Clinton’s Pocho Ocho best lines in his speech to the DNC

Former President Bill Clinton’s speech Wednesday to the Democratic Convention was long (48 minutes), complex and filled with facts and arithmetic — maybe too long and filled, although girth is as important as length according to the email we get here.

As a public service, therefore, and sanitized for your protection, we present the Pocho Ocho best lines from Clinton’s speech to the DNC:

8. In Hope, Arkansas, offshore banking deposits are at that glory hole down by Stonewall Creek.

7. Republican arithmetic makes as much sense to this old country boy as those Chinese hookers in Harlem!

6. Sandra Fluke: Call me maybe.

Mas…Bill Clinton’s Pocho Ocho best lines in his speech to the DNC