Attention Latino/Hispanic children in southeast Florida: Santa Claus does not want your milk and cookies, kids. He wants plantanos, y arroz y frijoles negros y res (could be puerco) … from Sedano’s.
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) Even as the U.S. Department of Justice seeks to shut down Florida’s effort to disenfranchise voters, state officials are overjoyed that their purge of voter role has finally nabbed a real fraud, even if their case is a dog.
Much to the relief of Republican witch-hunters who were under fire for challenging the eligibility to vote of war veterans, grandmothers and local heroes, a French Bulldog puppy named Mr. ChaCha was charged on Tuesday for voting fraudulently in a local Miami election last year.
The eight-month-old pup snuck into a neighborhood high school, sniffed the ballot and then pulled the lever for Hammad Jose de Marx, the Green Party candidate for Dade County Residential Service Officer, according to poll watchers. “Though Mr. ChaCha’s motives are unclear, one fact is clear: Voter fraud is real,” an election board spokesman said.
Serrapio recently pleaded guilty to threatening the president’s life but claimed that he simply aimed to rile up Obama supporters on the Internets. In other words, he’s a troll.
It’s not the first time Serrapio has acted trollishly.
His now-private Twitter feed included gems such as “Why can’t all girls be white? :(” and “Martin Luther King day: the day where black people forget it was a white man that abolished slavery,” which makes no sense since the people actually enslaving African-Americans where white.
Seriously, if slaves could have ended slavery it would have created a rip in the space-time continuum or something. And besides, what does that have to do with Martin Luther King?