There’s no name attached to Case Number 60066 in the Mutual UFO Network database. It’s an anonymous report submitted about an strange incident two weeks ago — Monday night, September 22 — and it follows two other unusual occurrences in San Bernardino County, east of Los Angeles:
Easter got us thinking about The End. Will we make it past those pearly gates into heaven?
You could try to live your life by your religion’s standards, sure, but where’s the fun in that? Here are pocho ocho ways for a sinner like you to get past St. Peter:
8. Invest in a timeshare now
Hey, it works when you want to go to Palm Springs or Miami — why not heaven?
7. Make a shrine in your home burning 72 veladoras at any given time
It’s common knowledge that every candle you light is like another spiritual brownie point. So, logically, the more candles, the more likely you can get into heaven.
6. Name your son Jesús or your daughter Guadalupe
It has to be true — otherwise we wouldn’t all have uncles named Chuy or cousins named Lupe.