(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, R-Wis., revealed the GOP’s proposed Obamacare replacement Tuesday.
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO, INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.
But now you can celebrate by getting your Grito on with the ¡Grito! app. Get it here.
What is the ¡Grito! app? It’s an app a native Texan and lover of her Mexican heritage Kathryn Gonzales made in order to celebrate — not mock — the culture of Gritos.
The app lets you play gritos at appropriate times, teaches about the history of gritos, and even lets you create your own. Here’s one I made for everyday usage:
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It’s new, it’s cool and it’s been designed and crafted with the attention to detail that has made Apple one of the world’s most admired brands. Introducing…the iWatch.
It’s college! On your phone! Only $199!
PREVIOUSLY ON COLLEGE:
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) As the Republican-controlled House of Representatives left town for a five-week paid vacation, GOP leaders warned members returning to their home districts to be on high alert because of unspecified “threats of liberalism.”
“These liberals are out there with their ‘logic and facts and science,’ and all our malarkey will Ben Ghazi in our faces if we’re not careful,” Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH) cautioned in a memo to his partisans Friday.
“Members are urged to stay close to their vacation retreats in gate-guarded communities, hunting lodges, country clubs and private marinas,” Boehner wrote, “and avoid potentially hazardous areas that may harbor liberals and their sympathizers. College campuses, where Republicans can easily get bamboozled by Improvised Intellectual Debates (IIDs), are particularly dangerous.”
You’re not a racist. You open doors for African-Americans, you talk with the Latino guy behind the counter at lunch and you even make friends with that Asian guy at work, the crazy weird one on the fifth floor. But wouldn’t it be cool if you could get credit for all your non-racist activities? Check out iNotRacist — available soon for your iPhone.
Why pay big money to get the big sound your music deserves? The new iMex iPhone or iPod dock is easy to assemble, does not need weird Ikea wrenches, and is fabricated from recyclable and easily-replaceable components available wherever Mexicans are served. Also available for Android! Sorry, Redmondites — a Windows 8 version has encountered difficulty with integration of the Clippy function, but look for a Win version in 2014.
A student at Pratt in New York set up a text-to-speech-to-text loop and the results are amazing and funny. We’ll let Michael Silber explain:
- I recorded the audio of Siri reading a selection of text.
- I placed a call to myself and played the Siri audio recording into my Google Voice voicemail.
- I instructed Siri to read the new Google Voice transcription, including any errors, and recorded a new audio clip.
- I placed a call to myself and played the new Siri audio recording back into my Google Voice voicemail.
— I repeated these steps for 50 iterations.
POCHO, your web authority on taco- and burrito-loving geekological innovation, is proud to feature this video showcasing the latest advance in remote burrito delivery logistics, just in time for Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 [SEE COUNTDOWN CLOCK IN RIGHT COLUMN.]
Real, unlike the bogus Taco Copter, outshining the burrito-making robot and the limited Siri-assisted margarita maker, the Burrito Bomber actually flies and drops tasty burritos at your location. ¡Orale!
Hey pochos — what are YOU listening to? Comments below:
(PNS reporting from SILICON VALLEY) Apple fanboys, Wall Street, tech geeks and Samsung engineers are eagerly awaiting Apple’s announcement of a new iPhone model today, and some inside sources are predicting a breakthrough product aimed at the growing Latino market.
The iPhone 5 — code-named iPhone La Raza — is said to include these new features:
I’m a pocha, loud and proud, and I communicate in Spanglish.
Everywhere. In letters, in conversation, in emails, in cards and, most recently, in text messages. But, my BlackBerry hates my Spanglish and is constantly trying to correct it. In fact, it often changes my Spanish words to random English words when I try to send my messages, rendering them practically intelligible. Damn you, auto correct!
A few choice examples: “gracias” into “grass,” “mañana” into “banana,” “mucho” into “macho,” “chingado” into “changed,” “oyes” into “ones” and “amor” into “amok.”