Yo, dude. Yes, you, Mr. Hard-Working Macho Guy! Have trouble getting to sleep after a hard day in the coal mines? None of that Sleepytime® tea for you. You’re not a professor or a poet. You need a real man’s sleep aid — the new Sleepytime® Burrito.
Tip from ex-Facebook friend breaks bad news
(PNS reporting from SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA) A “Study Abroad” student received some upsetting news last week when she realized nothing around her looked like the Lonely Planet guidebook she was carrying.
Becky Miller, a 21-year old geography major from Louisville, KY, was scheduled to spend three months in San Jose studying Spanish as a student with Veritas University. Her plans are now very much in doubt after she blew most of her savings in central California on San Jose Shark hockey games and visiting the Winchester Mystery Mansion.
(PNS reporting from LIBERIA, COSTA RICA) Local man Ramón Sosa Quesada stunned his friends and family Saturday when he single-handedly cooked his own dinner after finding himself home alone with no prepared meal.
Sosa, whose wife goes to choir practice on Saturday evenings, said he felt completely lost when he could only find dry rice and raw platanos in the family’s kitchen. He then fell into complete panic when he tried to order servicio express from A’s Chicken and realized his cell phone was out of saldo and he’d spent his final colones on a 6-pack of Rock Ice Limon.
“Mae, I was really looking forward to some steamy hot A’s in my mouth,” Sosa said. “I tried eating dried pasta, coffee grains, garlic cloves, everything. When I saw an advertisement for Popeye’s Chicken on TV, I collapsed to the floor and wept.”
They’re white, they’re black, they’re brown, they’re women, they’re mariachis. In New York. Flor de Toloache represent!
Benjamin Medrano, 47, won Fresnillo’s July 7 election and will take office this September. His election — he is said to be the first openly-gay mayor in Mexico’s history — has led some observers to speculate that famously-macho Mexicans didn’t really know Medrano was gay, or didn’t believe him when he told them.
Hey, Zacatecas! Try these Pocho Ocho ways to calibrate your gaydar:
8. P.A.N. — not gay. P.R.I. — gay.
7. Maria del Barrio — not gay. Maria del Zona Rosa — gay.
6. Blue Demon — not gay. Santo Gay — gay.