Mexican Food

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All I want for Xmas is a burrito-wrapped baby in a tamal-looking hat

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burritobabyRunning out of Christmas gift ideas for the little pochito in your life?

How about doubling down with a Comida Mexicana duo that wraps your baby up like a burrito in a tortilla-colored blanket and keeps his/her cute little cabeza warm with a hat that looks like the corn husk knot that secures tamales?

Bon Vivant Baby has you covered for only $48.  [Baby not included.]

PREVIOUSLY ON BURRITO-LOOKING BABIES:

Link via MiBlogEsTuBlog.

Editor’s Note: POCHO Subcomandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón wants to remind you it is one tamal and two tamales; one frijol, two frijoles; one asshol, two assholes, etc.

Visionary behind Doritos Locos Tacos dies at 41 (photos + video)

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toddtacosTodd Mills, who came up with the idea for Doritos Locos Tacos, lost his battle with cancer on Thanksgiving. The Little Rock, Arkansas father of two was 41 (photo, above.)

USA Today reports:

Mills started the Facebook page “Taco Shells from Doritos Movement” in 2009, encouraging followers to “tell Frito-Lay that we demand nacho cheesy taco shells!”

On the page, Mills posted photoshopped images of well known figures including Albert Einstein with a cheesy taco shell in a thought bubble, Steve Jobs holding a Macbook with a cheesy taco shell on the screen and Chuck Norris doing a karate kick while holding a cheesy taco shell….

Mas…Visionary behind Doritos Locos Tacos dies at 41 (photos + video)

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Roasted red Chanukah Christmas Kwanzaa salsa

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jarosalsaHola. Is Tia Lencha here.

Ju want to give presens to eberyone on your Chrismas list or Chanukah or Kwanzaa or Reyes Magos or Chinese Year but ju are short on dinero? No worry! Tia Lencha is going to give ju recipe for to make the oven roast red salsa!

Is nice! Is a good gift for the peoples! And is easy! No like making mole for Turkey Day.

I make this salsa to give to my comadres and the lob it. They have little hearts in their eyes when they see my salsa. They eat with almost eberything. They say they fight their childrens and viejos to eat the last drops of it in the jar. Is that good. Oso, it don’t matter if the peoples are no Mexican. The peoples at my job are no Mexican and they ask me for the salsa.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Roasted red Chanukah Christmas Kwanzaa salsa

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How I make turkey in Mole Poblano for mijo

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turkeymole640Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Sorry I no give ju recetas (recipes for ju pochos) for a gwhile. I was closed like the gobernment. Mijo’s daddy no send the cheques for the mijo support. I mad.

Then he go to my house crying because the eskelton eskank he marry left him for another viejo (old man for ju pochos). The viejo had more dinero and drive a troka (thas truck for ju pochos) with plastic bolitas hanging from the bumper. Oh gwell.

In Mexico we say mijo’s daddy got put horns. Mijo’s daddy cry and cry but he no give me my mijo support cheque. I tell him my house is no LenchaCare. He need to pay. He say need money for divorce the eskank. I have to go to the offices to get him to pay.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How I make turkey in Mole Poblano for mijo

Don’t cry for me Argentina: How NOT to make a taco! (video)

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mexikoshertacoThis is HOW NOT MAKE A TACO … NO NO NO NO

Chef Katsuji Tanabe of Mexikosher got all indignant on his Facebook page, and he wasn’t the only one. Why so mad? It’s that darn Argentinian Chef Maru Botana and her how-to-make-a-taco video.

Argentine Chef Maru Botana Crucified On Twitter For Mocking Mexican Food was the headline in the “Latin Times,” an English-language website despite its name. Maria G. Valdez reporting [*Latin translation by Google below.]:

Mas…Don’t cry for me Argentina: How NOT to make a taco! (video)

Tia Lencha’s Cocina explains El Dia de Los Muertos for you pochos

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Happy Day of the Dead! Is Tia Lencha here. Many people ask me questions about Dia de Los Muertos. I answer the questions today.

Question numero one: Tia Lencha wass this Dia de los Muertos? Is it the Mexican Halloween?
Gwell, kind of, I say. Except that the Day of the Dead celebrations come from the indigenous pagan rituals that trace back 2,500 to 3,000 years ago. Way before Duane Reade sold Halloween candy.

Question numero two: Tia Lencha, wassup with the calaveras (“skulls” for you pochos)?
Bueno, before Jesus came along, people used to keep skulls of their loved ones (and maybe not so loved ones) as trophies. They showed off the skulls during the rituals as symbols of death and rebirth. Kind of heavy, no? I never say my history was all tequila shots and tacos.

Also, calaveras can be short poems, like epitaphs like to mock your friends. Like you can make fun of them on their tombstones. Like for mijo’s daddy, I wrote a calavera about him call “Oscar Meyer” because he like to stick his weenie ebrywhere! He no think it was so funny.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina explains El Dia de Los Muertos for you pochos

It’s National Taco Day! Eat ’em if you got ’em

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streettacosAccording to either the National Taco Industry Council, or some drunk person who also just made this up, today is National Taco Day in the United Estates.

And it says so, on to the online hub of this holiday, NationalTacoDay.com:

In 2012, Americans ate 4.5 billion tacos! 
That’s 490,000 miles of tacos, which could take you to the moon and back or, if you prefer, could, at 775-million pounds, equal the weight of two Empire State Buildings.

Damn, that just makes me feel fat. Also on their site, they state oddly that:

Mas…It’s National Taco Day! Eat ’em if you got ’em

Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito: Have you ever been to Earth?

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burrito

This is an epic rant by @LuckyShirt, who says he is not really THAT angry:

Have you ever been to Earth? On Earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat.

Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends.

Mas…Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito: Have you ever been to Earth?

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Food Network goes ‘Mexican’ for Cinco de Mayo

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Oh. Hi. Is Tia Lencha here. Don’t talk loud. My cabeza hurts.

Tia Lencha went to a restaurante with mariachis and micheladas and little mini tacos jesterday. She had more micheladas than tacos, and gwell. Is not her fault. The tacos were spensive and the size for the dolls to eat.

So she stay at home putting ice on her cabeza, drinking the water and seeing the Food Network on the TV. And ju know what? They try to be Mexican for Cinco de Mayo.

The first thing I notice is the Cacique cheese commercial a million times. Not estrange except that the voice of an Americano says to go “awtenteeco” like they are translating for all the gringos. Then what’s his name (Aaron Sancho?) from the eshow Chopped appear and shows food and then says all the words in espanish right.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Food Network goes ‘Mexican’ for Cinco de Mayo

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: The Hipster Taco

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Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Today I going to help you make my new faborite taco. The other day I saw my mijo making sonething in the kishen. I so proud. He like to cook like his mama.

I say, “Mijo, what you making?”

He say, “A taco.”

I see that he was using corn tortillas, crumble Oaxaca cheese, scramble eggs, salsa chipotle, and potato ships. I was confuse.

“Mijo, are ju putting ships in the tacos?”

“Yes.”

“Why you do that?”

“I ate one like this at the hipster taco trock” he say, looking like a little mouse that ate all of the cheese in the mouse trap and then runned away.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: The Hipster Taco

Pocho Ocho new Mexican-flavored products (like Tapatio Cheetos)

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Some, like POCHO amigo Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano, say it started with Tapatio-flavored Fritos, Doritos, and Ruffles.

Others trace the flavor reconquista to Starbucks’ testing out nopal-flavored espresso drinks in East Los Angeles. But know this: The national introduction of Tapatio-flavored Lays potato chips next week is only the beginning.

Flavoristas say you should look out for these Pocho Ocho Mexican-flavored products in the near future:

8. Horchata-flavored Jaegermeister: Hormeister!

7. Tres Flores presents serrano-chile-flavored bigote wax — sabor picante is just a lick away

6. Chia Coke

Mas…Pocho Ocho new Mexican-flavored products (like Tapatio Cheetos)

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Delicious aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day salsa

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I’m Elena Maria Celina Carrillo Martinez de los Angeles Delgadillo Trujillo…Lopez. But you can call me Lencha.

Today my son is in his room reading his Naruto muñequito books, so I can chare with you my special recipe for Valentime’s Day.

M’ijo don’t like it when I talk about sexy things because me and his daddy are divorce because his daddy like to stick his weenie ebrywhere.

M’ijo usually checks my espelling but oh gwell. Since I have a little gwhile, I give you the recipe for Aphrodisiac Salsa.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Delicious aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day salsa

Back from Baja vacay, local man laments Cabo’s lack of Mexican food

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(PNS reporting from PHILADELPHIA) Bobby Mueller doesn’t want to be unkind, really. “My mother taught me that if you don’t have something nice to say, it’s better to say nothing at all,” he explains. “But the so-called Mexican food in Cabo San Lucas bites the big one.”

The University City marketing rep, who returned Sunday night from a week-long vacation on the southern tip of Mexico’s Baja California peninsula, was complaining to friends at a local brew-pub-salumeria.

“I spent an entire week looking for decent quinoa taquitos with pesto guacamole,” the self-described ‘foodie’ said, “and do you think I found them anywhere? No dice, dude. Zilch. Nada!”

Mas…Back from Baja vacay, local man laments Cabo’s lack of Mexican food

Tia Lencha’s holiday survival secrets for Mexicans in New York City

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Is Tia Lencha here! Feliz Navidad!

So people ask me, Tia Lencha do you have recipes for Christmas? Not really, I say. Instead I have some Secretos for celebrating the Navidad in New York City. There are no mucho Mexicans here so you have to be esmart about it so you don’t have the stress. And you need to have a Metro Card.

First, the are too many mucho peoples out chopping for presents. Tia Lencha don’t like standing in line for an hour to buy a sweater.

Thas why I use more time to buy my mijo his presents, I give to him on January 6, the day of the Tres Reyes (three kings for you pochos.) Mijo writes a letter to the three kings to tell them what he wants for his present. Instead of leaving cookies for Santa Claus, mijo leaves some grass in his shoe box under the bed for the camels of the three kings to eat. Then his present is put in the box with the grass for the camels. Like magic no?

Mas…Tia Lencha’s holiday survival secrets for Mexicans in New York City

Rick Bayless is National Council of La Raza’s ‘Mexican of the Year’

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(PNS reporting from GRINGOLANDIA) After being awarded the prestigious Order of the Aztec Eagle by the Mexican government in June, culinary guru and TV star Rick Bayless has been selected by the National Council of La Raza as their 2012 Mexican of Year.

“Generalissimo” Bayless (as he has been dubbed by NPR’s Scott Simon), famed for swooping into indigenous communities, stealing their recipes and making millions from them, is pumped:

It is an honor to represent La Razza and I intend to make them muy, muy, MUY proud of me.

“I am absolutely floored by this, guys! Really! I mean, when I got the Aztec thing, I was like: ‘Whoa!’ But this? Man…this will really up my street cred! Viva La Razza!” Bayless said.

Mas…Rick Bayless is National Council of La Raza’s ‘Mexican of the Year’

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Mexican flag three-color salsa for El Grito

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Happy Day of the Mexican Independence!

Is Tia Lencha here. Today we make a salsa that is the colors of the Mexican bandera (flag for you pochos).

Tia Lencha is all dress in her green, white, and red to celebrate El Grito, but all of her pocho and gringo friends is a little confuse. They are no in the streets today, wearing the big sombreros, fake bigotes (mustaches for you pochos), and drinking like pescados (fish for you pochos.)

This is the day for the Mexicans to celebrate 200 years free from Christopher Colombus and his amigos, and Indians turning on their own people, and diseases, and dying by the millions, and survive only to be treated like caca by the colonizers.

Thas a lot to celebrate if ju ask Tia Lencha.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Mexican flag three-color salsa for El Grito

Hold on — you mean those taco copters could be for reals?

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It started out as a very well-executed hoax.

A Silly Valley startup was marrying advanced four-rotor light helicopter technology with America’s love of Mexican food to create a breakthrough business: Smart-phone-directed delivery of tacolicious love to your location.

Blogger Dan Shapiro:

The Tacocopters are coming. Sure, the original pitch was a clever troll aimed at credulous and impatient fast-food junkies. But the numbers don’t lie – a typical taco weighs less than a pound, and aircraft that can autonomously fly a few dozen ounces of payload to your doorstep are already available for around a thousand bucks. Amazon Prime is cool, and I can’t wait for self-driving delivery cars – but there’s a reason they call a beeline a beeline. Flying autonomous deliverybots are coming. Fast.

And if these choppers could also deliver cold, refreshing cerveza? The world would beat a mousetrap to their door!

¡Mira! An inspired hardware hacker just built a proof of concept that moves the technology a step closer to reality — the beer copter:

Mas…Hold on — you mean those taco copters could be for reals?

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Rajas con crema if you don’t espeak English

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Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Today I give you the recipe for Rajas con Crema. This was inspire by a trip to the store that sells Mexican things like dancing papier mâché skeletons, Frida Kahlo key chains, overpriced things for the wall. You know, is like Mexican Disneyland. I went in looking for a rebozo to give as a present for my comadre’s birthday.

I find the skinny hipster girl behind the cash register and I say, “Do you have any rebozos?”

“What’s that?” she say.

Anyone who knows Tia Lencha knows that she wanted to give the hipster girl a coco in la cabeza. “What do you mean what’s that? Is…a shawl…like you call it in English.”

“Oh. No,” she say.

“No what?”

“We don’t have those here,” she say. And she turn around like we were finish.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Rajas con crema if you don’t espeak English

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