The best! Classy! Poop Head Donald Trump Dog Poop Bags

bigtrumpbagtrumppooplogoPeople, let me tell you — and I’m being honest here — these dog poop bags are absolutely the best dog poop bags. We used to be number one in dog poop bags. But not anymore, folks.

There has been a terrible schlonging in the poop bag market. And you know Hillary’s not going to fix it. But I’m not afraid to tell it like it is. I’m very rich and I’m very attracted to my daughter. I mean, just look at those legs.

Mas…The best! Classy! Poop Head Donald Trump Dog Poop Bags

Arizona’s Sheriff Joe Arpaio launches own tequila brand

(PNS reporting from BOCADECACA, AZ) Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arapio is launching his own brand of tequila, Arpaio Viejo, he told random diners at Gallego’s Mexican Cafe here yesterday.

“I demand high standards for my office and my tequila,” Arpaio told the restaurant full of retirees from states that aren’t Arizona. “I was dissatisfied with the other options on the market, and at my favorite Mexican restaurant, so I decided to create my own.”

Arpaio’s brand will offer the traditional tequila styles of  añejo, plata, and reposado — but that’s not all.

“Later in the year we introduce my super-premium line, called Arpaio Viejo 1070, aged 10 years in mesquite wood barrels in the desert, and then wrapped in pink chonies for seven more years of additional tempering.  You know it’s ready to drink when you pull the cork and instead of breathing, it whimpers.” Arpaio said.

Mas…Arizona’s Sheriff Joe Arpaio launches own tequila brand

We’re selling young, mobile pochos! Who’s buying? For how much?

The U.S. is getting Mex to the max

The meme started on a site called MetaFilter: If you are not paying for it, you’re not the customer; you’re the product being sold. 

Facebook — free to use — sells you and your friends and your information to advertisers. So does Google and so does Yahoo! When POCHO grows up, we’ll sell your “page views” too — hopefully to multitudes of high-spending advertisers who are appropriate and cool tambien.

This week the online ad world was excited about the latest estimates of the “Latino” marketplace from Nielsen.

Our No Shit Sherlock™ quick summary:

  • There are lots of Latino (Hispanic,Mexican,Chicano,Latin-American,Cuban, etc.) people
  • Latinos buy many products
  • Advertisers spend lots of money online, on TV, in print and over the air to get Latinos to buy their products
  • The Latino “market segment” is young, mobile and growing

Peep the surprising stats illustrated by purty graphs from the Nielsen survey:

Mas…We’re selling young, mobile pochos! Who’s buying? For how much?