The best! Classy! Poop Head Donald Trump Dog Poop Bags

bigtrumpbagtrumppooplogoPeople, let me tell you — and I’m being honest here — these dog poop bags are absolutely the best dog poop bags. We used to be number one in dog poop bags. But not anymore, folks.

There has been a terrible schlonging in the poop bag market. And you know Hillary’s not going to fix it. But I’m not afraid to tell it like it is. I’m very rich and I’m very attracted to my daughter. I mean, just look at those legs.

Mas…The best! Classy! Poop Head Donald Trump Dog Poop Bags

Why the Internets were invented: Hispanic cops taking selfies (photos)

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“Selfie” is a real word, you know. Officially! “Selfie” and “twerk” were added to the Oxford English Dictionary Online in August.

And that’s why we’re extra pleased to present just a taste of the excellent Tumblr Cops Taking Selfies Of course, we’re just featuring photos of two officers with Hispanic names because it is still Hispanic Heritage Month until October 15, but you can click through for equally-charming Anglos and some additional Hispanics we might have missed !

Mas…Why the Internets were invented: Hispanic cops taking selfies (photos)

[Breaking] Back to School: Boys named ‘José’ get new names

kidsinschool(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) All across America, elementary school teachers performed a traditional back-to-school ritual this week — the ceremonial renaming of thousands of boys named “José.”

The annual ritual is performed when teachers take roll in the morning:

  • First, teachers call the boys named “José” by new “American” names, typically “Joe,” “Joey,” or “Joseph.”
  • After a moment of silence, the boys realize the teacher is calling them, and the ceremony concludes when the boys accept their new names by answering with “here” or “present.”

The ritual was performed here earlier this week at Indian Creek Elementary School.

Mas…[Breaking] Back to School: Boys named ‘José’ get new names

Mujeres: Wearing Victoria’s Secret doesn’t make you a model

Supposebly, I was supposed to sex it up for my boyfriend Manuelito. He said the romance was gone and we needed to spice it up. So I did what any girl would do — I went to Victoria’s Secret.

I spent a long time in that store, too. I looked at everything they had — from those bras with the gel to make you look like you have more cleavage to the ones that scrunch your chi-chis together to make you look muy sexy and even considered those itty bitty tangas that would inevitably get lost somewhere in your pompis.

After all that looking around, I wondered: how do these tiny women manage to be so chichonas anyway?

I finally settled on something and went home to make it a special night. I lit sexy cinnamon candles, the kind that smell like churros, put on my new brassiere and waited for Manuelito to come over. Once he got there I was so excited! But, as it turn out, we were both in for a shock.

Mas…Mujeres: Wearing Victoria’s Secret doesn’t make you a model