“It’s the best wall ever,” says President Trump. “It’s amazing! No more mariachis interrupting your dinner!”
Sources tell our correspondents that Guzman’s narcotrafficante associates are already working on plans to bust the gangster out of his next cellblock; we’ve compiled this list of the Pocho Ocho Top Ways El Chapo Could Escape Again:
8. Trained bats
7. Incredible shrinking ray
6. Those gigantor worms from Tremors
Here are Pocho Ocho Most Amazing Facts Behind El Chapo’s Escape we’ve unearthed so far:
8. Shoutout to Uber de Mexico for the fast pickup!
7. Strategic rest areas every 200 meters stocked with Red Bull and Takis
6. Extra guys at Home Depot got lucky that day
After an uneventful C-section, Boca Raton, Florida, mother Ruby Graupera-Cassimiro’s pulse stopped for 45 minutes. When her heart resumed beating on its own, Graupera-Cassimiro regained consciousness and shared her tale of what she found on “the other side.”
Mexican archeologists last week announced the discovery of three new treasure-filled tunnels in the Temple of the Feathered Serpent (Quetzalcoatl) under the ancient city of Teotihuacan. The underground passageway was first unearthed ten years ago beneath the site, just outside of Mexico, DF.
(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Not to be outdone by Space X founder Elon Musk’s proposed high speed “Hyperloop” rail system, a Mexican engineer has plans to commercialize his country’s high speed travel infrastructure, a proprietary closed system that has been in operation for years.
Researchers and engineers in this high tech city in Mexico’s Silicon Barrio are not impressed with Musk’s Hyperloop, a system of people-sized pods that move through a network of air-free tubes built over or under the ground at speeds of up to 800 MPH.
“We have had almost the same method of transportation a very long time, so I do not understand what the big deal is,” Universidad de Guanajuato Prof. Carlos Sagañez told PNS Tuesday.