Many politically conscious Chicanos are looking for yet another alternative way to Celebrate Cinco de Drinko but still protest the ahistorical consumer appropriation of a battle that is meaningless to most Mexicans.
Well, Jeb Bush (aka el Yeb according to his Mexican compadres) has provided us with a warm video message of solidarity this Fifth of May to honor the “honorable” way that the Mexicans fought against foreign invaders in the Battle of Puebla. Did I mention that the message is all in Spanish?
In the tradition of the party culture that Cinco de Drinko inhabits, these are some drinking game ideas. While watching the video you:
- Drink when it is obvious that el Yeb is reading the teleprompter. I warn you, this is not easy, and ladies don’t swoon. He has a promising career as a Univision news anchor.
- Drink when he says the word “lazo.” Note that lazo has various meanings including knot, ribbon, tie, and lasso. El Yeb does not mean that he has a lot of ribbons with Mexico. He is using it to mean bond. He has a lot of bonds with Mexico. Like through his wife. Whom he sleeps with. Like in the same bed. Which leads us to…
- Drink when you pause the video and add “between the sheets” to anything he’s saying. This has the added benefit of adding some cross cultural literary associations with fortune cookies.
- Drink when he sounds Cuban by dropping a consonant here and there. I’ll give you a clue. He does this when he says the word “repeto.” Be forewarned that this kind of makes you want to drink a mojito.
- Drink when you add hashtags to his #HonoraryMexican, as I did with #Mexicanbyinjection. Each hashtag, no matter how ridiculous, is a victory in this battle to stay sober. If you played this game properly, you should be #borracho by now.
Listo? ¡Mira el Yeb!