Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Is Cinco de Mayo Fake News?

Yesterday, mijo ask me gwhy peoples celebrate the Cinco de Mayo.

“Is because of the Battle of Puebla,” I tole him.

“Do people in Mexico get borrachos and crazy like they do here in the United States?”

“Crazy? No. The kids get day off from eschool and then some mens dresses up in the pueblo of Puebla and play like is the battle happening again.”

“No crazy borrachos?”

“No, is more like kids eating candy and washing TV.”

“Is it about Mexican people being proud of their culture?”

“No,” I say. “I’m no proud of gringos gwearing sombreros and eating chimichangas.”

“Are chimichangas Mexican?”

“I don know. I never ate one,” I say. “But the gringos love to eat the food with all the cheez I don know what it is.”

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Is Cinco de Mayo Fake News?

In Puebla, MX, 500 dead as narco cartel killers crush French gangsters

pueblacartel640(PNS reporting from PUEBLA, MX) Federales have finished cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead, PNS has learned.

The  Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.

Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.

Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.

But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.

Mas…In Puebla, MX, 500 dead as narco cartel killers crush French gangsters

Here’s what I thinko about Cinco in one ranty, illustrated post

chipssalsaWhite folks in sombreros and serapes. Spanglish beer commercials every few minutes. Yup, pretty ridiculous, señor.

I agree with most of my friend Gustavo Arellano’s Cinco de Mayo video rant, mas o menos.

He says it’s ridiculous, only serves some limited purposes as far as educating about the evils of Imperialism, or the promotion of self-determination, y todo eso. Battle of Puebla my ear. Sure. OK, guey.

However, I think Gustavo misses one big fat Manuel’s El Tepeyac Hollenbeck Burrito-sized point:

We’ve got to celebrate with the holidays we have,
not the holidays we want

Mas…Here’s what I thinko about Cinco in one ranty, illustrated post

Me? Today I’m drinking a cerveza and contemplating Cinco de Mayo

I approach el Cinco de Mayo with excitement and ambivalence.

I learned the history of the Battle of Puebla as the son of proud Mexicans, who happened to be immigrants. The story goes: On the fifth of May 1862, a small Mexican army kicks French butt. Bueno.

My dad and grandmother worked at the Cinco de Mayo restaurant on Pacific Coast Highway in a small L.A. harbor town. My association with the day is food, drink, familia, history, cultura.

Mas…Me? Today I’m drinking a cerveza and contemplating Cinco de Mayo

In Puebla, MX, narco cartel killers crush French gangsters

pueblacartel640(PNS reporting from PUEBLA, MX) Federales have finished cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead, PNS has learned.

The  Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.

Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.

Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.

But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.

Mas…In Puebla, MX, narco cartel killers crush French gangsters

Breaking Ñews: Did French troops use poison gas in Puebla?

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) French invaders fighting indigenous militias in the state of Puebla are using poison gas, according to situation reports circulating here in the capital.

If the reports can be substantiated, it marks a dangerous escalation in the hostilities, and would mean Napoleon III’s troops have “crossed a red line” set by the Lincoln Administration in Washington.

“Oh simon, it was gas,” said one eyewitness rushed from the front by the cavalry. “French General Pepe Le Pew knows he is losing the la guerra and he is desperate. We think it is the deadly gas de brie, which these queseros love.”

Mas…Breaking Ñews: Did French troops use poison gas in Puebla?

Orale! It’s the Yeb Bush Cinco de Drinko Game (video)

yebbushMany politically conscious Chicanos are looking for yet another alternative way to Celebrate Cinco de Drinko but still protest the ahistorical consumer appropriation of a battle that is meaningless to most Mexicans.

Well, Jeb Bush (aka el Yeb according to his Mexican compadres) has provided us with a warm video message of solidarity this Fifth of May to honor the “honorable” way that the Mexicans fought against foreign invaders in the Battle of Puebla. Did I mention that the message is all in Spanish?

Mas…Orale! It’s the Yeb Bush Cinco de Drinko Game (video)

Me? I’m drinking a cerveza and contemplating Cinco de Mayo

I approach el Cinco de Mayo with excitement and ambivalence.

I learned the history of the Battle of Puebla as the son of proud Mexicans, who happened to be immigrants. The story goes: On the fifth of May 1862, a small Mexican army kicks French butt. Bueno.

My dad and grandmother worked at the Cinco de Mayo restaurant on Pacific Coast Highway in a small L.A. harbor town. My association with the day is food, drink, familia, history, cultura.

Mas…Me? I’m drinking a cerveza and contemplating Cinco de Mayo

PochOpinion: Here’s what I thinko about Cinco

chipssalsaWhite folks in sombreros and serapes. Spanglish beer commercials every few minutes. Yup, pretty ridiculous, señor.

I agree with most of my friend Gustavo Arellano’s Cinco de Mayo video rant, mas o menos.

He says it’s ridiculous, only serves some limited purposes as far as educating about the evils of Imperialism, or the promotion of self-determination, y todo eso. Battle of Puebla my ear. Sure. OK, guey.

However, I think Gustavo misses one big fat Manuel’s El Tepeyac Hollenbeck Burrito-sized point:

We’ve got to celebrate with the holidays we have,
not the holidays we want

Mas…PochOpinion: Here’s what I thinko about Cinco

Here’s what I thinko about Cinco

White folks in sombreros and serapes. Spanglish beer commercials every few minutes. Yup, pretty ridiculous, señor.

I agree with most of my friend Gustavo Arellano’s roiling denunciation of Cinco de Mayo, mas o menos.

He says it’s ridiculous, only serves some limited purposes as far as educating about the evils of Imperialism, or the promotion of self-determination, y todo eso. Battle of Puebla my ear. Sure. OK, guey.

However, I think Gustavo misses one big fat Manuel’s El Tepeyac Hollenbeck Burrito-sized point: We’ve got to celebrate with the holidays we have. Not the holidays we want.

Mas…Here’s what I thinko about Cinco

I’m drinking a cerveza and contemplating Cinco de Mayo

I approach el Cinco de Mayo with excitement and ambivalence.

I learned the history of the Battle of Puebla as the son of proud Mexicans, who happened to be immigrants. The story goes: On the fifth of May 1862, a small Mexican army kicks French butt. Bueno.

My dad and grandmother worked at the Cinco de Mayo restaurant on Pacific Coast Highway in a small L.A. harbor town. My association with the day is food, drink, familia, history, cultura.

Mas…I’m drinking a cerveza and contemplating Cinco de Mayo

Breaking: Mexican troops say French use poison gas in Puebla

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) French invaders fighting indigenous militias in the state of Puebla are using poison gas, according to situation reports circulating here in the capital.

If the reports can be substantiated, it marks a dangerous escalation in the hostilities, and would mean Napoleon III’s troops have “crossed a red line” set by the Lincoln Administration in Washington.

“Oh simon, it was gas,” said one eyewitness rushed from the front by the cavalry. “French General Pepe Le Pew knows he is losing the la guerra and he is desperate. We think it is the deadly gas de brie, which these queseros love.”

Mas…Breaking: Mexican troops say French use poison gas in Puebla