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Did Puerto Rican lawyers cause rise in bed-fall fatalities?

by Comic Saenz on May 12, 2014 in Cultura, El Now, Pocho Ñews Service

people-who-died-by-falling-out-of-their-bed_number-of-lawyers-in-puerto-rico(PNS reporting from CAMBRIDGE, MASS) Did you know that the more lawyers there are in Puerto Rico, the more people die from falling out of their beds?

That’s the startling statistical relationship discovered by the prestigious Harvard Law-school-based Spurious Correlations Institute, one of many recently revealed on their website.

Here are the raw numbers the Institute employed to make the graph:

1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009
People who died by falling out of their bed
Deaths (US) (CDC)
400 450 516 551 594 503 621 626 690 737 780
Number of lawyers in Puerto Rico
Lawyers (ABA)
9,892 10,195 11,071 10,947 11,209 11,191 11,805 11,767 12,142 12,454 13,071
Correlation: 0.975871

 

tylervigen“You can’t make this stuff up,” Institute Director Tyler Vigen told PNS. “It’s all there in black and white. And sometimes in red and yellow, green and blue.”

“Check this out,” he said. “As Americans slowly weaned themselves off imported oil from Venezuela, they also decreased their consumption of unhealthy High Fructose Corn Syrup. Where’s your revolution now, Bolivarian Chavistas?”

us-crude-oil-imports-from-venezuela_per-capita-consumption-of-high-fructose-corn-syrup-us

2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009
US crude oil imports from Venezuela
Millions of barrels (Dept. of Energy)
446 471 438 436 473 449 416 420 381 352
Per capita consumption of high fructose corn syrup (US)
Pounds (USDA)
62.6 62.5 62.8 60.9 59.8 59.1 58.2 56.1 53 50.1
Correlation: 0.884883

 

Other correlations from the Institute show these results:

“Numbers don’t lie,” Vigen insisted, “although they sometimes can mislead — like this woman’s phone number I got Saturday night at the Cantab Lounge. Mansplainers Anonymous Hotline? Golly!”

More correlations here.

 

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

 

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