deaths

Mexclusive: Mexican president wants to update the flag

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mexicanempireMexican President Enrique Peña Nieto is expected to propose a new flag (photo) to better reflect the “Mexico of today, tomorrow and the future,” PNS has learned.

“Snakes, eagles,” he told close associates at a meeting Thursday evening, “that was a long, long time ago, in a barrio far, far away.”

More on this story as it develops.

Pocho Ñews Service PNS is a wholly-fictitious subsidiary of Pochismo, Inc., a California corporation, who is a person according to the Supreme Court. Don’t ask us, we just work here.

Did Puerto Rican lawyers cause rise in bed-fall fatalities?

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people-who-died-by-falling-out-of-their-bed_number-of-lawyers-in-puerto-rico(PNS reporting from CAMBRIDGE, MASS) Did you know that the more lawyers there are in Puerto Rico, the more people die from falling out of their beds?

That’s the startling statistical relationship discovered by the prestigious Harvard Law-school-based Spurious Correlations Institute, one of many recently revealed on their website.

Mas…Did Puerto Rican lawyers cause rise in bed-fall fatalities?

Niños Incómodos/Uncomfortable Kids: ‘Mexico must change’ (videos)

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“If this is the future that awaits me, I don’t want it,” said the girl in this commercial that ran before last year’s Mexican presidential elections. “Enough of working for your political parties instead of working for us. Enough of cosmetic changes.” Almost everyone said they agreed.

How’s that working out for you, Mexico?

Mas…Niños Incómodos/Uncomfortable Kids: ‘Mexico must change’ (videos)

PNS*Hot*Flash: Alumni magazine gives Encino man the sad

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(PNS reporting from ENCINO) San Fernando Valley homeowner Donald Murietta was depressed most of   Saturday afternoon after reading the latest issue of The Pennsylvania Gazette, the alumni magazine of the University of Pennsylvania.

Murietta, a 1998 Penn graduate, first turned to the obituary section when the glossy monthly arrived with the 2PM mail delivery, and that’s when his ball-breaking downer began.

News of the February 12 death (a tragic fish-pickling accident in Rochester, NY) of old girlfriend Leslie Sonnenshein (nee Baldwin), Class of 1999, set off a cascade of emotions that started at the top with their intense makeout session at that SAE party after the Princeton game and ended at the bottom with a very public breakup in the Van Pelt Library right before Christmas, which was totally his fault because he fucked that girl Candi.

Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: Alumni magazine gives Encino man the sad