Shock confession! Local man doesn’t care what Cinco de Mayo is about

by María Purísima on May 5, 2014 in El Now, Pocho Ñews Service

broncof(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Ruben Covarrubias astounded family and friends here Sunday night when he admitted that the meaning of Cinco de Mayo didn’t concern him and he’d always thought “May 5 was Mexican Independence Day, so like so what?!”

“I don’t care what it’s about,” he told everyone within earshot of the backyard grill. “I just always celebrated it with MEChA and at school. Partay!”

Friends and family at the Covarrubias’ weekly carne asada were aghast. Some reconsidered whether they’d be driving back to El Sereno next week, multiple witness reported.

“Mijo was always ‘Chicano power this’ and ‘Viva la raza’ that, and so I’m kind of offended that he doesn’t even know what he’s talking about,” Neto García, Ruben’s tío on his mom’s side, told PNS. “Maybe he should focus less on what other people are doing and more on what is coming out of his own mouth. Baboso!”

Ruben later direct-messaged PNS on Twitter to promise he’d look up the holiday on Wikipedia as soon as he was done with his third cerveza, OK?:

Hey, man! Just because I don’t understand the holiday doesn’t mean I can’t celebrate, am I right?

The message was 43 characters short.

Image of a totally unrelated muy guapo male model dressed like a naco via the Caballero Bronco online store.

Pocho Ñews Service PNS is a wholly-fictitious subsidiary of Pochismo, Inc., a California corporation, who is a person according to the Supreme Court.  Don’t ask us, we just work here.

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