Attn Night Editor: Replace debate images, rewrite hed, update story

by Especial Correspondents on October 22, 2012 in El Now, Pocho Ñews Service

NIGHT EDITOR! REPLACE THIS TEXT, REWRITE THE HEADLINE AND SWAP IN NEW IMAGES BEFORE WE GO LIVE.

(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) President Barack Obama and Governor Mitt Romney met for their final debate here tonight and blah blah bah.

The two clashed over foreign policy with Romney accusing the president of herp, derp and zoool, and Obama countering that Romney really la la la I can’t hear you.

Staged in the retiree-heavy community of Rat Mouth, where eternally-flashing left-turn signals are the law of the land and the population lives on Early Bird Specials, the debate was declared a draw by people who weren’t paying attention and a total oratorical victory for Obama by everyone else.

Boca Raton and nearby communities of Delray and Boynton Beach are fetid humid swampland still unredeemed from the biting, itching and crawling creatures that call this their natural home. The area was only chosen as the debate venue because Jerry Seinfeld’s parents live nearby and wanted to come. PAGE BREAK HERE.

Previously-unknown Lynn University, untainted by cannibalism, bath salts trouble, hazing deaths or hoodie shooting incidents hosted the event.

Few in the audience know the school was founded as a public service by musician and producer Jeff Lynn who once saw an awesome Portuguese Man-of-War jellyfish at Boynton Beach but didn’t get stung, dude.

“Twat?” “Twat?” Eva Longoria really said “twat?” Pretty old school, eh? You can’t say “twat” but you can call people “dicks” and refer to “testosterone poisoning.”

We once got a comment here on POCHO saying we were dicks for using “douchebag” as a slur because it can be important element in a woman’s hygienic arsenal. Summers eve makes me feel fine, blowin through chasm of my mind.

How many more pages of this crap do I have to write. Yes yes I know.

Libya shmibya. The GOP is all about your labia, am I right, ladies? Give it up!

Hurrrrr I am big derp that can’t do two things at once…

People talked real serious about those other places that exist. Most people can’t point to them on a map so really wherever it is they exists than they probably do. We took their word for it.

Later in the evening, Foreigners hacked into our porn. That is a serious problem that neither candidate seem eager to addresss. China China China China China Pumpkin Spice Latte.

MORE COPY TK

XXX

 

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

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