vicente fernandez

googlestraitPOCHO’s Comic Saenz wasn’t 100% sure where the Crimean Peninsula was on a map until last week, when Russia grabbed it, and he had no clue about the Strait of Malacca, where that Malaysian Airlines flight may have disappeared.

He had to look this stuff up on the Internets (photo), and maybe you did too.

That’s when we realized our geographical memory banks — and yours — might need a little shot of phresh knowledge, like this list of the Pocho Ocho Weird Geographical Chingaderas You Probably Never Heard Of:

8. Lake Tiacaca. Nowhere near the Andes, this stinky mess was discovered in your Aunt Anna’s bathroom after that thing with the sewer pipes.

7. The Chicano Triangle. This tortilla-chip-shaped segment of Southern California goes from Oxnard to San Diego to Indio. Many (traditionally) black and (predominantly) white neighborhoods formerly located in this area have disappeared from demographers’ charts.

6. The Straights of Esai. These large ribbed rock formations just north of Malibu bring ALL the boys to the yard.

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As a result of the ongoing Pocho Revolution, there has been a tremendous increase in the number of people who identify themselves as pochos.

While most are legitimate pochos, there are many who have infiltrated the ranks and are seeking to subvert the ideals of Pochismo.

We’re not talking about the CIA, the FBI or even the dread Victory Outreach. The threat to Pochismo comes in the form of the nefarious Chilangos, the denizens of Mexico City who stormed into the heart of Aztlan through LAX to take over Chicanismo and are now moving deep into Pocholandia.

The indoctrinization of the Chilango is so subtle that you may already be a Chilango and not even know it. If you suspect that you or someone you know is a Chilango, here is a simple quiz to find out for sure. If you answer “c” or “si” to most of the questions, chances are you are a Chilango.

Take the quiz!

525 is:

a) A style of Levi’s
b) The telephone prefix they use in movies
c) The Mexico City area code

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The world’s deadliest team of mercenaries/landscapers. Their lives. Their Hollywood careers. All…Mexpendable. (From The Latino Comedy Project.)

Ñewsweek: Chente, Los Grammys and @MexicanMitt

by Soy Capitan February 12, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Ñewsweek: Chente, Los Grammys and @MexicanMitt

Vicente Fernandez, Los Grammys and the continuing adventures of presidential hopeful @MexicanMitt were the big stories this week on POCHO: The Grammys were faced with a boycott led by Latino artists calling themselves Los 60%. Mexican singing superstar Vicente Fernandez announced both his upcoming retirement and plans to open a Las Vegas casino called Guadalajara, […]

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Vicente Fernandez to open Las Vegas mariachi-themed casino

by Victor Payan, Business Charrospondent February 10, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Vicente Fernandez to open Las Vegas mariachi-themed casino

(PNS reporting from LAS VEGAS) Soon-to-retire Mexican recording legend Vicente Fernandez is opening a mariachi-themed casino in Las Vegas. Designed to cash in on the immense popularity of such large-scale theme casinos like New York, New York, Fernandez said he expects to open his casino Guadalajara, Guadalajara by the end of the year. The casino, shaped […]

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Superstar Vicente Fernandez announces rey-tirement

by Victor Payan February 10, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Superstar Vicente Fernandez announces rey-tirement

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) Mexican superstar Vicente Fernandez, El Rey de la Cancion Mexicana, announced his retirement from the music industry Thursday, culminating a career that spanned more than 90 years, nearly 100 offspring and more gold records than a conquistador’s wet dream. Known to his adoring fans as Chente, Don Chente, Señor Chente, […]

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