Johnny Cash somehow manages a version of Ring of Fire en Español. Thanks to Remezcla for the link!
COMIC SAENZ
Will ‘Fifty Shades of Brown’ dominate Latino erotica market?
(PNS reporting from NEW YORK CITY) Major book publisher Vintage House Editions announced the release this week of a Latino version of the popular soft-porn bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey.
Written by Santa Fe-based author Carmen Camacho, Fifty Shades of Brown is the erotic tale of a young woman swept up by a charming, detached older man and their tumultuous path towards amor.
The Spanish version of the original book, 50 Tonos de Café, has already been optioned for a Univision telenovela to be titled Te Sigo Pegando.
“Fifty Shades of Brown was written with the Latino market in mind and includes culturally-specific elements like facial hair, tequila and charreada-style BDSM instead of just the normal kind,” according to Vintage House spokesman Tristan Caldwell. “We think we can tie this audience up.”
Mas…Will ‘Fifty Shades of Brown’ dominate Latino erotica market?
Puerto Rican scientists ready to activate Large Piña Collider
(PNS reporting from PUERTO RICO) With construction and testing officially completed on the Large Piña Collider (LAPICO), scientists here are ready to begin their high-tech search for the elusive sub-atomic particle that powers the popular cocktail.
LAPICO is a tunnel 25km (15.5 miles) in circumference in the western half of the island, southeast of San Sebastian (satellite photo, above.) Its ring of ice-cooled vacuum pipes are capable of accelerating a stream of maraschino cherries up to 99% of the speed of light (SOL.)
Once the cherries are launched and precision measuring devices determine they are virtually SOL they are fired into a solid pineapple wedge suspended in a large tank of white rum in a state of Marreri-Cofresí equilibrium. The scattered fragments of the collision are measured by a network of repurposed breathalyzer devices and then plotted by computer.
Scientists hope that the Large Piña Collider will be able to find evidence of the elusive Jugos Boson, the so-called Cream Particle which gives all coconut products their silky mouth-feel.
Mas…Puerto Rican scientists ready to activate Large Piña Collider
Contractor and Latino day laborer become BFFs in ‘The Tool’ (video)
A seemingly-friendly contractor hires a migrant laborer for a house painting job but their relationship soon gets complicated. Will their man crush outlast the law?
Write, draw or shoot for POCHO and win the respect of your peers
Face it, pochos, money can’t buy you love. But respect –R-E-S-P-E-C-T — well, that can go a long way towards letting your love light shine.
And that’s why we want to remind you once again of a very special opportunity to earn the respect of your peers, street cred in your neighborhood and, possibly, the approbation of total strangers from all across the InterT00bZ, if not actual cash.
All you need to do is to send POCHO your dreams and nightmares for distribution on the World Wide Web — for the greater good of humanity. Send original photos, videos, cartoons, illustrations, short stories and ñews that will amuse, titillate and elevate America. Is that so much to ask?
Mas…Write, draw or shoot for POCHO and win the respect of your peers
On the border, in the desert, nobody expects the ‘Zombie Migra’ (video)
They journeyed hundreds of miles to make a new life in a new land. They crossed borders, forded rivers and walked in the burning heat. But nobody expected the Zombie Migra!
Ñewsweek: Senior radioactive terrorist, Cuatro de Julio, Frida Kahlo
When quick-thinking U.S. Border Patrol agents detected nuclear radiation coming from the car and determined the passenger was named Raul Castro — just like the brother of murderous dictator Fidel Castro from that prison island of Cuba — they only had one choice:
Detain and interrogate.
The elderly suspect was eventually “free to go” but not before the Federales made sure that radioactive pacemaker in his chest wasn’t really a roadside bomb. And America was safe for another day, free from radioactive terrorists like Raul Castro, 96, the Hate State of Arizona’s first Latino governor.
Castro’s brazen escape understandably topped POCHO’s ñewsweek, but wait, there’s more!
We also covered the birthday of eyebrow enthusiast Frida Kahlo and the suppressed history of our National Anthem, composed by star-spangled beaners.
Links? We have ’em!:
Mas…Ñewsweek: Senior radioactive terrorist, Cuatro de Julio, Frida Kahlo
When Spanish in school was illegal: ‘When I Dream Dreams’ (video)
Once upon a time in America, Latino kids were not allowed to speak Spanish in school. This documentary recalls those days.
In 1918, Texas, along with many other states, enacted statutes that made the speaking of any language other than English on public school grounds illegal. These laws remained active until the U.S. Congress passed the Bilingual Education Act in 1968.
Through personal interviews with distinguished leaders and educators — all native Spanish/English-speakers — When I Dream Dreams explores the complex psychological and social effects of these laws by relating the experiences of these people as students and, later, as teachers, professors, and legislators.
When I Dream Dreams was made by four students enrolled in an alternative media course at Trinity University in 2001. It has won prizes and festival appearances around the United States, including Best Student Film at the San Francisco Latino Film Festival 2002, Best of the Fest at Cine Accion 2002, and official selection at San Antonio’s Cine Festival 2002. The piece takes its name from the poem by Carmen Tafolla.
From Archive.org
Reconquista Video Theatre Presents: ‘Burritos in Outer Espace!’
Astronaut Drew Feustel demonstrates how to assemble a burrito in zero-gravity outer espace. Yes, Georgia, Mexican food is the new American. And let us never forget Astronaut Jose Hernandez.
Comic video shoot-out! ‘I love Spanish TV’ vs ‘I hate Spanish TV’
Eliot Chang just loves Spanish-language TV. Comic Yamil (“I’m Hispanic”) Piedra dislikes the very same shows, doesn’t think the comedies are funny, hates the dubbing and thinks the Spanish voices sound like they were recorded on the toilet. YMMV.
Mas…Comic video shoot-out! ‘I love Spanish TV’ vs ‘I hate Spanish TV’
It’s the bomb! Five-Second Films: ‘Vocabulario Explosivo’ (video)
Yup. You figured it out. A five-second-long explosive video meant to help your Spanish vocabulary. Click to play. What do you have to lose? OK. Five seconds of your life. Eight seconds if you include the opening and closing credits. And yet, having a good vocabulary is worth the time. Am I right, people? *applause*
Ignorant? Racist? Stupid? Not funny? [X] All of the above (WABC radio)
Listen in as half Boricuan, half Italian and all moron talk show host Jason Matterat on New York City’s WABC 770 AM interviews “Pedro the Illegal Alien.” What do you think?
Thanks to our friends at Latino Rebels for the story and the video.
Ñewsweek: SCOTUS, SB1070, AZ, Obamacare and Mexican Mitt
GOP nominee wannabe Mexican Mitt Romney led off the chorus of this week’s reactioneers after the SCOTUS decisions on SB1070 and Obamacare. “We need to implement Labambacare for all Hispanics pronto!” he wrote in a special guest editorial.
Some Arizonans like the SB1070 decision — we have their reactions — but Chicago Congressman Luis Gutierrez ripped the decision to shreds on the floor of the House of Representatives — and we have the video.
Lots of ñews this past week on POCHO; here are our top stories:
Mas…Ñewsweek: SCOTUS, SB1070, AZ, Obamacare and Mexican Mitt
Complete ‘Hey Vato!’ NSFW existential angst of Chuy y Smiley (videos)
When we heard one of our favorite Hey Vato! episodes (The Tattoo) would be screening at the San Francisco Frozen Film Festival we knew it was time for a special Sabado Ponchonte Saturday Night Video Festival featuring EVERY episode of our favorite web series, in order, so here they are. Hey Vatos! Orale!
Mas…Complete ‘Hey Vato!’ NSFW existential angst of Chuy y Smiley (videos)
‘Dora the Explorer’ vs ‘Dora La Conquistadora’ (video shootout)
Well, really, you have to laugh at the trailer. But how does the Dora the Explorer film, starring Ariel Winter (Modern Family), stack up against Dora La Conquistadora?
Here’s La Conquistadora now:
Mas…‘Dora the Explorer’ vs ‘Dora La Conquistadora’ (video shootout)
Apology: These POCHO comments are ham not spam
POCHO encourages live unmoderated reader comments without registration (democratic but dangerous) so we employ a robot named Akismet to help us weed out spam.
The bot’s not perfect, though. Sometimes legitimate comments get mistakenly trapped by Akismet, which uses artificial intelligence to decide if a comment is Spam (bad) or Ham (good).
Here, with our apologies, are a few comments that were mistakenly flagged as Spam:
Submitted on 2012/06/28 at 10:26 pm
This is the exact AZ’s hater history: Public Enemy ‘By the Time I Get to Arizona’ : Pocho diary for anyone who wants to attempt out out active this issue. You respond so such its virtually wearying to argue with you (not that I rattling would want…HaHa). You definitely put a new rotate on a matter thats been engrossed some for years. City block, but zealous!
Submitted on 2012/06/28 at 9:44 pm
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Latino workers leap ONTO the pages of glossy magazines *UPDATED
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UPDATE: Ramiro Gomez on NPR: 6/29/2012: Click here.
West Hollywood artist Ramiro “Jay” Gomez Jr. – the guy who inserts cardboard paintings of immigrant laborers into the real landscape of Los Angeles – also paints them onto glossy magazine photos. Meet fresh uploads Nemesio at the end of his workday and Ofelia taking a break. Gomez’s Happy Hills blog is here.
Outernational ‘We Are All Illegals Todos Somos Ilegales’ (music video)
New York band Outernational rocks the message in Spanglish with We Are All Illegals featuring Tom Morello, Chad Smith and Residente Calle 13.
Behind La Musica: Meet Tejano band ‘Los Mojados Guapos’ (video)
VH Juan takes an up close and personal look at superstar Tejano band Los Mojados Guapos in this short segment from Behind La Musica.
In the border badlands, it’s migrants vs vigilantes, hope vs hate (video)
Gustavo Aguilar and Juan Cabrera, Mexican day laborers alone in a Twilight Zone desert, are confronted by a screaming protest against illegal immigration. Ours is a world of mirage and illusion, they remind us, and you have to believe it to see it.
Pochas y pochos, beware! Aqua Net hairspray may cause mutations
(PNS reporting from NEW NEW YORK CITY) Attention, pochas y pochos! Interstellar starship captain and Mutants’ Rights advocate Turanga Leela is warning of serious side-effects from a popularly-priced hair care product you may be using at this very moment.
Leela thinks her late mother Munda’s use of Aqua Net hairspray is the reason she’s a loveless mutant with only one eye, and says the ingredient cyclopentasiloxane is the culprit.
“I mean the name STARTS with cyclop, how did people miss that?” she asked a press conference in New New York City Sunday (photo, above.)
Aqua Net hairspray is a must-carry purse item for every well-prepared pocha, according to a recent survey, and is used as a “bug spray, deodorant and a…substitute for glue.”
Mas…Pochas y pochos, beware! Aqua Net hairspray may cause mutations
Obama, Romney kiss brown butt in exciting panderama! (video)
Who can kiss mas butt? President Barack Obama and Gov. Mitt Romney both spoke to the National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials last week in La Florida. So who won the contest of Los Panderos? The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart reports.
POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz is LA’s top editorial cartoonist
POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz won the Los Angeles Press Club’s top award yesterday (once again) for best editorial cartoon. Lalo, who photographed himself and his award with President Bartlet, tells the story and shares the cartoon on LaloAlcaraz.com. This is his sixth award from the journalism society.
Someone dissed you? Curse like a Mexican with these comebacks
The folks at Mun2.tv are back with the second part of their Curse Like A Mexican series. This time it’s how to properly deliver the comeback. The video is NSFW if people overhear it, know Spanish, and dislike cuss words. The English translations/subtitles are bleeped. The first episode is here.
Truth exposed at last! What goes on behind the white door? (video)
If you’re black, you don’t know. If you’re brown, you remain in the dark. Red or yellow? Ditto — the Secret World of White People is hidden from your view. Reporter Ed Murphy goes under cover as a white guy to find out what’s behind the white door. The moral of the story? Be kind to your web-footed friends.
Ñewsweek: Joe vs girl, Mitt vs you, Adidas steps in it, CT OKs MM
Arizona’s notorious Sheriff Joe Arpaio tried to save his flailing career with an arrest of a six-year-old cartel leader, GOP nominee wannabe Mitt Romney totally tripped over his tootsies again, the Nutmeg State joined the future for lonche with the approval of Medical Menudo (MM), Adidas stepped in it big time with their slavery-themed sneakers and Facebook gave everyone a new finger.
These POCHO stories broke the news this week. We’ve got the links and more:
Mas…Ñewsweek: Joe vs girl, Mitt vs you, Adidas steps in it, CT OKs MM
Video Double Feature: Sometimes a bicycle is more than a bicycle
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A bicycle is just basic transportation, really. Wheels, metal tubes, chains, gears, rubber, grease, paint if you’re lucky, a basket and maybe a bell. Yet sometimes it’s a vehicle that binds fathers and daughters together.
Brasil sends us the multi-award-winning O Plantador de Quiabos (the okra planter) in Portuguese with English subtitles and from San Francisco’s Mission District comes a documentary that introduces us to the family behind La Bicicleta Vieja (the old bicycle), Spanish with English subtitles.
Enjoy these two shorts – our Sabado Pochonte Double Feature!
Mas…Video Double Feature: Sometimes a bicycle is more than a bicycle
‘El Santo vs El Chupacabra’ in Quebec: French things happen (video)
Day-to-day life in Canadia, our northern neighbor, looks perfectly normal (i.e., like Los United Estates) until something distinctly Canadian happens. ¿And Quebec? Vive la difference! Students in the Creative Arts program at Champlain College Saint-Lambert find inspiration in cheesy Mexican horror flicks as they re-imagine El Santo Contra El Chupacabra.
Konichi-wa, homie, from Japan’s cholos, lowriders y Chicano rappers
Invasion, “Asia graffiti & lifestyle magazine,” writes:
Two parts of Chicano hip-hop culture in particular have become popular in Japan:
the music, and the cars. When the Japanese do Chicano rap, they still rap in Japanese
instead of English, Spanish, or some mixture of the two. But the beat, the clothes
and the look are quite matched.
Peep this short video of Japanese lowrider hydraulics:
Mas…Konichi-wa, homie, from Japan’s cholos, lowriders y Chicano rappers
My father, the ‘Human Piñata’ — a true story by Alex Koll (video)
Alex Koll pulls back the curtain on his dad’s tormented history, his violent career and his tragic end: The life and death of a Piñatador.