Pocho Ocho best ways to market to ‘Hispanics’

They’re confused, the poor marketeers. They try so hard to sell fish esticks and bleach and PETA to “Hispanics,” but they are low and slow on the learning curve.

Nearly Half of Second-Gen Hispanics Feel Like Ads Don’t Target Them, laments the tradezine Adweek.

You mean pochos with limited/zero Spanish aren’t picking up trendy brand tips watching telenovelas on Spanish-language TV? And nobody reading this story really cares all that much about Juanes’ aftershave? What’s an earnest marketeer to do?

Los Pochodores are here to help with the Pocho Ocho best ways to reach out to that elusive “Hispanic” market:

8. Work a mustache into your ad. Hispanics love bigotes!
7. Always feature a woman in a tight dress with huge boobs — just like Mom! Family values!
6. Whenever possible say “abuela.”
5. Make sure to over-exaggerate the pronunciation of Spanish words.
4. You can appeal to Hispanics’ working class roots by reminding them that they make great janitors and gardeners.
3. Two words: bright colors.
2. Winning campaigns maximize the use of keywords

  • spicy
  • hot
  • passionate
  • tradition

And the numero uno best way to market to Hispanics is…

Mariachi music (Cubans love that stuff, amirightpeople?)

Infographic via Adweek.