It’s that time of the year — Hatch Chile Season.
(PNS reporting from MILWAUKEE) Local cat made good Daren the Lion, long-time spokescritter for the D.A.R.E. anti-drug education program, has resigned and moved to Colorado, PNS learned Monday.
“He’s fallen off the catnip wagon,” one area family member told PNS. “He’s all about the ‘flowers’ now.”
Hey, all you Hispanics! We’re sorry — it was a big mistake. Ha ha ha, a joke gone bad. No, a mistake. You know those Illegal Immigrant Hunting Permit stickers we were selling in our Colorado gas stations with convenience stores managed by that national convenience store conglomerate that ordered the shiny multi-colored bumper stickers from a Kansas “novelty” manufacturer?
(PNS reporting from VIRGINIA) Today’s shootings at Lone Star College in Houston brings America one step closer to the National Rifle Association’s goal of having a mass shooting in every state, according to NRA president David Keene.
“There have already been mass shootings in 30 states, and one day, every state will be a red state thanks to the efforts of the NRA,” Keene told a hastily-called press conference at his group’s Fairfax headquarters Tuesday afternoon. “This is a big dream of the NRA, and we are working hard to achieve it.”
I AM TANNED, RESTED AND READY. AND MORE TANNED.
AJUA! I have been preparing all night for my debate against BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA. Tonight there will be A LOT OF JUAN ON JUAN MASTERDEBATING. I will right ALL THE LEFT-LEANING POLLS with my victory!
I will completely dominate, not LIKE A BOSS, but LIKE A CEO. I want you to take a break from your MOOCHING and FREELOADING to watch me mop up the floor with Obama like I was one of ANN’s FEARFUL SERVANTS.
HERMAN CAIN did not work out as OBAMA DEBATE STAND-IN (all his answers were “NINE NINE NINE”) SO NOW I PRACTICE AGAINST A CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF URKEL.
Everyone is horrified about another mass shooting, this one in a movie theater in Aurora, CO at a midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises. Gun violence in the U.S. is the highest in the world, and we need to do something about it. Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of the dozen murdered victims and the over 50 wounded. This editorial cartoon can also be seen at my syndicate website, GoComics.com/laloalcaraz