Latinos pissed, aggressively emphasize America not a country
(PNS reporting from MANHATTAN) For years, Latinos have insisted that they are also “Americans.” Now, U.S. President Donald Trump plans to fine them each time they use the term.
Latin-Americans have well-known fury from being excluded from the “American” membership. Each time a U.S. citizen identifies as American, the resulting argument is more intense than deciding which abuela makes the best tamales.
Since November 8, have you felt angry, depressed, morose, unable to face the day? Ask your doctor if IMPEACHARA® is right for you. [Video by Sam Friedlander.]
PREVIOUSLY ON ASK YOUR DOCTOR:
Our historic President knows more about Black History Month than the last President, who was not so historic.
And instead of teaching us in American, the President is going to speak English to you, you know, to class up the history of this carnage-loving people, his African-Americans.
Our speech researchers here at the National Pochismo Institute took Wednesday’s speech transcript and ran it through a text-to-speech thang with a British-accented robo-bloke. And it sounds classy! You’ve never heard classy as bigly as this — all the words — the best words — plus a Ben Carson shoutout — and some bragging, lots of lies, and ignorance in abundance. Not to mention dissing CNN and non sequitors, slang, and muddled thinking. You’re welcome, mate.
Mira el transcript, with notes from POCHO’s Comic Saenz, and audio below:
Something there is that doesn’t love a wall, for example Mariachi Cabos vs Pink Floyd’s Another Brick In the Wall. Winner: MARIACHI CABOS!
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) President Donald Trump and FLOTUS Melania Trump made an unannounced 3 AM excursion to the National Mall to seek the blessing of revered former Republican President Abraham Lincoln, according to a photo released by the White House this Monday morning.
An oblivious criminal crimes away an iPad during a “live shot” in the press room of the Club Atlético Independiente in Buenos Aires. ¡No era penal!
When news broke Friday that GOP presidential nominee wannabe Texas Governor Rick Perry (photo) was indicted on two counts of abuse of power, we were pissed off because we were in the middle of a conference call and didn’t that grand jury know our meeting schedule and publishing deadlines?
We realized later, however, that we had a treasure trove of Perry-ana that could be given fresh life on the Interwebs with a cool big-ass image of Perry, a clever headline and lots of SEO-friendly keywords.
POCHO proudly presents PREVIOUSLY ON INDICTED TEXAS GOVERNOR RICK PERRY THEATRE:
In a radio interview Thursday with KRDB this fine American legislator was full of the kind of wisdom that has inspired the deep thoughts of his homegirl, Sarah Palin, and assorted white power NRA-voting posses, militias and tea parties across the U.S. of A.
A three-second clip is at the bottom of this story. Play it here or download it and make it into a ring tone, or an auto-tuned viral meme! Thanks to KRDB for the audio. Oh, and here are the phone numbers for all the Congressman’s offices.