easter

Good Friday particularly disappointing for ambitious Facebook post

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By SYDNEY PRESLEY

(PNS reporting from RANCHO CUCAMONGA) The clock is ticking for Pope Franciss’ Facebook post, which is 50 AMEN comments short of its 10k goal and the promised resurrection and triumphant return of Jesus Christ.

The photo posted by the FB account using the Pontiff’s image has garnered thousands of “likes” and “shares” but was shy of the required AMENs as Easter loomed.

“I didn’t expect the post to take off like it did,” said Annette Benson, 54, a retired San Bernardino County clerk who runs the account from her home here. “I guess it just shows how much America is in need of a prayer right now. Jesus is what will make America great again. Let me hear you say AMEN!”

Mas…Good Friday particularly disappointing for ambitious Facebook post

It’s Cesar Chavez’s birthday, and Google threw a Doodle party

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Late Saturday night, as I searched for some historical images for a new history book I’m illustrating, I saw that Google had finally honored farm labor icon Cesar Chavez with their “Google Doodle.”

My first thought (and tweet) was, “Brace yourselves for anti-Mexican, anti-immigrant, anti-Cesar Chavez racist hate from internet Christians on their Holy Day.”  Faster than you could pull up a thousand images of the Mexican-American hero on Google Images, the harsh comments started rolling in.

As I called it, a few hateful internet Christians declared jihad on Google because it’s not a Jesus Christ Doodle or their main religious figure, the Easter Bunny (historical image below). 

Mas…It’s Cesar Chavez’s birthday, and Google threw a Doodle party

Why is ‘Il Santo Papa’ making up his own rules? I am really angry

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OK, mi gente, now I am really, really angry. Since I have last written, I have thought long and hard about the present state of the Catholic Church.

It has occurred to me that the “speaking points” of Ash Wednesday, apply specifically to the Catholic Church and the immediate legal and public relations problems that beset it now. If you recall, the deacon spoke of things we might “give up” for Lent. Things such as:

Mas…Why is ‘Il Santo Papa’ making up his own rules? I am really angry

Pocho Ocho ways for a sinner like you to get into heaven

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Heaven is exactly like this

Easter got us thinking about The End. Will we make it past those pearly gates into heaven?

You could try to live your life by your religion’s standards, sure, but where’s the fun in that? Here are pocho ocho ways for a sinner like you to get past St. Peter:

8. Invest in a timeshare now
Hey, it works when you want to go to Palm Springs or Miami — why not heaven?

7. Make a shrine in your home burning 72 veladoras at any given time
It’s common knowledge that every candle you light is like another spiritual brownie point. So, logically, the more candles, the more likely you can get into heaven.

6. Name your son Jesús or your daughter Guadalupe
It has to be true — otherwise we wouldn’t all have uncles named Chuy or cousins named Lupe.

Mas…Pocho Ocho ways for a sinner like you to get into heaven