All she wants this Christmas is a man.
For comic magician Andy Gross, it was just a walk in the park. For everyone else — well, let’s just say some chonies had to be changed.
In the beginning, the spacebrothers created the Heaven and the Planet Earth, and they saw that it was good. Later on, Man came along and screwed stuff up big time. Verily.
(PNS reporting from SALT LAKE CITY) Gov. Mitt Romney‘s Presidential campaign, which has little support outside its base of old, ignorant white people, picked up a key “ethnic” endorsement late Sunday as the Ferengi-American Political Action Committee (FAPAC) backed his White House bid.
“Frankly,” FAPAC Grand Nagus Ishka told a hastily-called press conference here, “he had us at ‘corporations are people, my friend’ but when we started matching up his beliefs with the Rules of Acquisition we knew he was our guy! We totally admire his greed.”
FAPAC released a photograph (above) of the group after a meeting with the candidate at the majestic Mormon Temple here and passed out a chart showing their similar philosophies:
Anyone who has read the Dear Abuelita columns, or dated, knows that it can be a rough world out there. Here we are, beautiful, educated Chicanas, and we can’t seem to bag husbands in time to put a bun in the oven.
What’s a Chicana to do? We came up with a few ways that modern Chicanas can bag a man in no time:
8. Make friends with his mom. That way, she can just order him to go out with you.
7. Get in a fight with his ex. While this may not result in a relationship, it will certainly get his attention, and shit, who doesn’t love to watch girls fight?
6. Flirt with his best friend. Machismo at its finest would not permit a man to see a woman he liked with another vato.