First Native American gun victim pushes for gun control

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) It took a lot of burning sage, cedar, sweetgrass and tobacco, but Tymangoua, the first Native American murdered by a gun in what is now the United States, delivered a message from the spirit world to Washington:

Getting shot and killed sucks!

Indigenous Peoples Against Gun Violence (IPAG) introduced Tymangoua to a press conference here Monday.

IPAG president Lauren Ko’n-Za explained:

Gun violence is not a recent phenomenon. It has existed for hundreds of years and indigenous people like Taymangoua were the first victims. Tymangoua was murdered on Sept. 14, 1513, by Spanish sailors looking to enslave him on the shores of Biscayne Bay in what is now Miami.

Mas…First Native American gun victim pushes for gun control

Pocho Ocho secrets of the first Thanksgiving

See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago? We’ve got eight things right here:

8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date
7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly
6. Squanto’s succotash was really takeout from Fieri’s Tipi

Mas…Pocho Ocho secrets of the first Thanksgiving

Pocho Ocho other things Christopher Columbus got wrong

Aside from not sailing to “India,” Christopher Columbus got many other things wrong. Since Dia de La Raza/Columbus Day is Monday, we can’t forget the Pocho Ocho top boners he pulled:

8. He forgot the extra pair of chonies his abuela packed for him.

7. He named all of his ships after cholas, but forgot La Sad Girl.

6. He didn’t stop to ask for directions.

Mas…Pocho Ocho other things Christopher Columbus got wrong