Pocho Ocho top changes to expect now that Univision owns The Onion

univisiononionNow that UNIVISION has become a part owner of The Onion, our media analysts have compiled the Pocho Ocho top changes you can expect from the new corporation:

8. Daily stories tagged #TelemundoFail

7. Don Francisco’s triumphant return to TV as Area Man

6. Univision closes failing millennial-oriented website The Cilantro

Mas…Pocho Ocho top changes to expect now that Univision owns The Onion

Pocho Ocho reasons we weren’t invited to the Oscars

In Hollywood, they say, Oscar is king. So why didn’t POCHO get invited to the king’s Big Night Out?

8. All the valet gigs are sewn up by Telemundo producers.

7. They only invite Hispanics with the right attitude, with good credit  and who play well with others.

6. There is an industry ban on pastel Quinceañera Tuxedos.

5. They think Mexican Mitt is a Cuban baseball catcher.

Mas…Pocho Ocho reasons we weren’t invited to the Oscars