When Hell is full, pinche dead turkeys will stalk the living. THANKSGIVING opens today at a theater near you. (Violent, gory and maybe some side boob.)
Cathy Camper of PDX writes:
OK, I confess, I’m Lebanese American often mistaken for Latina, Native American, Jewish, terrorist…no one in the US knows who anyone is!
I wrote 2 graphic novels with Raúl III (Raúl Gonzalez) called Lowriders in Space (2014) and Lowriders to the Center of the Earth (just came out this summer, July 2016). Raúl illustrated them all in Bic pen, because that’s what kids draw with in school, right? The books are aimed at kids, but adults are loving them too.
Liberal Redneck Trae Crowder is sortly over hearin’ people carry on about their personal beliefs as it relates to civil rights [NSFW language]:
Nobody’s trying to take your rights. We’re just trying to keep you from doing that to other people. I know you’re a white person in America, so I can see why you’d think this, but telling other people how to live is not a right you have.
You can catch Crowder on tour with the Well Red Comedy crew. Here’s the schedule.
In case you’re just some random Googler who stumbled across this page, here’s the synopsis: BORDERTOWN satirizes life on the U.S.-Mexico border — la migra, changing demographics, religion, the drug war, and so much more.
Yeah, part of it is shameless self-promotion — I’m a consultant, while Lalo is a staff writer. But we’re doing it because we truly do believe this series is the Great Brown Hope: the network program that will finally show raza in all our hilarious, proud, chingón glory and that will become a ratings smash that’ll allow the beginning of #televisionreconquista.
Beware of El Lado Oscuro!
PREVIOUSLY ON STAR WARS:
|ESPANOL: La India María debe encontrar a toda costa en lo recóndito de una montaña, El Mágico Espejo Negro de Tezcatlipoca, pues el espíritu de su bisabuelo Moctezuma Xocoyotzin así lo ha ordenado para evitar la destrucción de México.
Alonso, un atractivo arqueólogo español, Bianchi, un tramposo busca-tesoros y Brígida Troncoso — una ambiciosa gobernadora, se enteran de la existencia del dichoso Espejo, del misterioso Tesoro de Moctezuma y de la tal María, por lo que todos emprenden una frenética persecución detrás de ella para apoderarse del cristal mágico y del oro.
|ENGLISH: La India María (born María Nicolasa Cruz) must find, at all costs, hidden away in a big mountain, The Magic Black Mirror of Tezcatlipoca. She’s on a mission ordered by the spirit of her great grandfather Moctezuma Xocoyotzin,and she must succeed to stop the destruction of all Mexico.
Alonso, an attractive Spanish architect, Bianchi, a crazy treasure hunter and Brígida Troncoso, an ambitious governor, all find out about the existence of the Mirror, the mysterious Treasure of Moctezuma and María, which is why everyone pursues her to try to take away the magical crystal and gold.
(PNS reporting from CULVER CITY, CA) Westside entrepreneur Pico E. Sepulveda tries not to count his pollos before they hatch, but he will admit to being stoked about the profit potential of the 12 cases of Huy Fung Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce he purchased at Smart & Final Iris here Thursday morning.
“Now that the State of California has joined the City of Irwindale in cutting off the supply of America’s favorite hot sauce, the sky’s the limit on these babies,” the Mar Vista man told PNS. “When I pulled out of the store’s parking lot onto Venice Boulevard, I actually started chair dancing in my car and even broke out the maracas!” (Sepulveda’s excitement was captured by a POCHO reader who emailed us this VINE video, right)
“I got a dozen 12-count cases of the 28-ounce bottles,” Sepulveda explained, “for $35 each — for a total for $420, which I thought was good omen. This could be bigger than Bitcoins, if Bitcoins had a trailer for a video on demand download on Vimeo!”
U.S. President Charlie Sheen is in big pinche trouble with Mexican terrorist Mel Gibson, and there’s only one vato who can help. Danny Trejo returns in Robert Rodriguez’s Machete Kills.
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) A new web series on Hulu is poised to blow the lid off the unprecedented rise of sexy Latinos currently overrunning East Los Angeles. The series, East Los High, is a riveting expose of the rapid “sexrification” of the historically low-and-slow Chicano community.
“The kids at East Los High are hot, they’re ripped, and they can dance,” said Garfield High School alum Alberto “Sleepy” Gonzalez. “When I drop my kid off at school, it looks like he’s stepping into another country, like Puerto Rico.”
In an age when books have trailers, some trailers float higher in the flotsam and jetsam of mass-market, dead-tree publishing, especially when they graphically portray the destructive American volcanos and Atlantic tsunamis that will rock your world on Dec. 21. [See POCHO’s Mexclusive Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 Countdown Clock in the right column of this page.]
The world’s deadliest team of mercenaries/landscapers. Their lives. Their Hollywood careers. All…Mexpendable. (From The Latino Comedy Project.)
In this remake of the 16th-Century Spanish-language novel, The Life of Lazarillo de Tormes and of His Fortunes and Adversities, we follow the adventures of young Lazarillo Z. He’s just a poor boy, from a poor family, who has to live by his wits after being sold to a series of cruel masters. In this upcoming production from Spain, everyone’s tryin’ bring the poor kid down, including zombies. And the trailer has a totally unexpected ending. (Spanish with English subtitles. Gory zombie stuff.)
Well, really, you have to laugh at the trailer. But how does the Dora the Explorer film, starring Ariel Winter (Modern Family), stack up against Dora La Conquistadora?
Here’s La Conquistadora now:
Is Will Ferrell — currently starring in Casa de Mi Padre — the first Anglo comic actor to make a Spanish-language comedy without knowing a word of Spanish?
No guey! As you can see in this old movie clip, black and white jailbirds Oliver Hardy and Stan Laurel AKA El Gordo y El Flaco visited the Dentista and delivered their lines phonetically from a script 60 or more years ago. If you don’t know about Ferrell’s movie, you can peep the trailer below — it’s in Spanish AND color!
Of course he sings in Spanish! The movie is IN Spanish! Wikipedia:
Casa de Mi Padre (English: My Father’s House) is an upcoming Spanish-language American comedy film. The film stars Will Ferrell, Gael García Bernal, Diego Luna and Génesis Rodríguez with Matt Piedmont directing a screenplay written by Andrew Steele. The film has been described to be in the style of an “overly dramatic telenovela” and tells the story of Armando Alvarez, who must save his father’s ranch from a powerful drug lord. Casa de Mi Padre is set for release next week.
Here’s the trailer: