Out-of-work Joe Sullivan was having a hard time finding a job until he decided to change his name to José. You won’t believe what happened next! [NSFW adult language.]
PREVIOUSLY ON JOBS:
Cuban-Canadian-American Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) is the best man for the next President of the United States, you Yankee hosers. With Sarah Palin as VP.
PREVIOUSLY ON TED CRUZ:
You can exercise your First Amendment rights as a homophobic racist fool on A&E or as an anti-corporate viral video dude on the Internets. You be the judge.
A Chicago employee of the Safeway/Dominick’s supermarket chain (which is closing 72 stores eliminating 6000 jobs) was suspended after he posted this YouTube video — Thanks, Safeway — portraying the store closings as a vicious attack by space aliens.
Steve Yamamoto was suspended Saturday, when he showed up for his last day at work.
“If this is the future that awaits me, I don’t want it,” said the girl in this commercial that ran before last year’s Mexican presidential elections. “Enough of working for your political parties instead of working for us. Enough of cosmetic changes.” Almost everyone said they agreed.
Roberto’s Dreams comes straight from today’s headlines. Roberto has been laid off, Angelica cleans houses to make ends meet and 10-year-old daughter Brittany struggles to reconcile her Latino roots and her American education. Roberto opts for the American Dream of being his own jefe and decides to start his own business: The first Latino green cleaning business in North Carolina.
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) The Mexican-American Chamber of Commerce and the U.S. Labor Department are launching a campaign to promote Hispanic workers.
The Mexicans Work Better campaign encourages American business owners to hire Latino workers for whatever jobs are open and at whatever salary.
“Since the Spanish arrival in the Americas, Latinos have been great workers. We want to encourage U.S. business owners to continue to hire them, at whatever cost,” Chamber of Commerce Executive Director Adrian García told a Monday morning press conference in the Watergate Hotel.
“By hiring Latino workers, business owners get people with a good work ethic, and Latinos get the chance to buy themselves a pack of tortillas — maybe even two. It’s a fair trade.”
Al Madrigal, Daily Show Senior Latino Correspondent (and POCHO Migrant Editor), takes a look at the tragic unemployment rate for Latinos in the television industry.
(PNS reporting from SALT LAKE CITY) As Mitt Romney works to grow support before the GOP convention, his campaign has reached out to Spanish-speaking voters with a new ad, Deprimente (depressing). POCHO translated the commercial for voters who don’t habla Español.
Pocho Ñews Service PNS is a wholly-fictitious subsidiary of Pochismo Inc., a California corporation, who is a person according to the Supreme Court. Don’t ask us, we just work here.
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) GOP strategists — concerned the declining jobless rate hurts their chances of winning the White House — are now attacking the Obama Administration for causing rampant over-employment.
“Obama’s policies are creating more and more jobs. Haven’t Americans suffered enough these last three years? Jobs are the last things they want,” Republican pollster Charlie “Chuck” Charles told a morning meeting of the Contradict Reality and Progress Political Action Committee (CRaP PAC.)
Yes, you, the ones with the ad agency contacts and the AlwaysBeClosing tattoos:
If you have strategic vision, sales team management experience, a thick little black book and the knife-in-your-teeth attitude of a closer, check out this job listing: POCHO wants to interview you for a job as our Jefe de Sales y Business Development.