(PNS reporting from PHILADELPHIA) Donald Trump, Wharton School Class of 1968, is the new cover boy of a University of Pennsylvania alumni magazine mailed today to Penn grads across the country.
After POCHO’s Dennis Wilen AKA Comic Saenz finally came clean about his history with UPenn classmate Donald Trump, we’ve learned more about the events that turned a Child of the 60s into the bitter meng he is today.
Here are the Pocho Ocho Top Reasons Child of the 60s The Donald is so Donald:
8. Still heartbroken and resentful after the end of a passionate love affair with UPenn boyfriend, Afro-Mexican exchange student Mumia Abu-Fuentes.
7. Childhood backyard “fort” overrun by kids playing “Viet Cong.”
6. Kicked out of Wharton School MEChA for attempted “firing” of Cesar Chavez.
You won’t believe what happened next!
Actually, nothing happened next — it happened a few years before 1996. Que? POCHO Jefe-de-Content Comic Saenz was Managing Editor of VERY SAME The Daily Pennsylvanian when he went to Penn and he planted that Lalo story in a future edition by means of his WordPress wormhole publishing prowess, which powers this POCHO.COM you are reading right now!
Lalo has remained true to his mission. At the festival, he unveiled his plans for POCHO.COM, his vision for a virtual varrio on the Internets, where ordinary people can control their own media:
Chicano cartoonist entertains students
By ANJALI KUMAR · March 28, 1996, 5:00 am
Cartooning is not what it used to be, according to Chicano political cartoonist Lalo Alcaraz.
Alcaraz spoke Monday night in Houston Hall, opening up the 14th annual Festival Latino de Penn.
(PNS reporting from ENCINO) San Fernando Valley homeowner Donald Murietta was depressed most of Saturday afternoon after reading the latest issue of The Pennsylvania Gazette, the alumni magazine of the University of Pennsylvania.
Murietta, a 1998 Penn graduate, first turned to the obituary section when the glossy monthly arrived with the 2PM mail delivery, and that’s when his ball-breaking downer began.
News of the February 12 death (a tragic fish-pickling accident in Rochester, NY) of old girlfriend Leslie Sonnenshein (nee Baldwin), Class of 1999, set off a cascade of emotions that started at the top with their intense makeout session at that SAE party after the Princeton game and ended at the bottom with a very public breakup in the Van Pelt Library right before Christmas, which was totally his fault because he fucked that girl Candi.
(PNS reporting from PHILADELPHIA) Local publisher Benjamin “Sparky” Franklin (Poor Richard’s Almanac) is shocked by all the non-English-speaking dark-skinned foreigners in the City of Brotherly Love and worries about how our planet appears to residents of Venus and Mars.
The “swarthy” German newcomers are too stupid to learn English, the Society Hill resident charged in a recent newsletter: