god

aztectricksterIn these troubled times, God[ess] knows, we could use some help from indigenous, culturally-appropriate deities.

Here are the Pocho Ocho top Aztec gods we could sure use today:

8. Chingilipochtli, god of payback

7. Guautemoc, god of amazement and wonder

6. Spocktezuma, god of living long and prospering tambien [Mas…]


We’re not climate scientists but we’re pretty sure it rains a lot more in Mexico than in, say, Saudi Arabia. Here’s why.

PREVIOUSLY ON TELEVISION: [Mas…]

popebylalocropped (PNS reporting from VATICAN CITY) The recent earthquakes in Southern California are a message from God, according to Pope Francis. The Almighty, he told a visiting delegation of American Catholics Monday, will shake things up until they are more gay.

“Lord knows this mortal world needs some bright flashes of color that aren’t suicide bomb explosions in crowded markets,” the Pontiff said.”And maybe some marigold-print cafe curtains in that drab nook over there.” [Mas…]


Aren’t You Lucky to be born in the only place that always gets it right? The Whitest Kids U Know sing.


Don’t say we didn’t tell you – especially the part about the brain bank cities on the dark side of the Moon! (NSFW language.)

New monkey species resurrects ‘restored’ Spanish Jesus controversy

by Victor Payan September 15, 2012 Cultura
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(PNS reporting from AFRICA) As the Muslim world erupts in grisly violence over a third-rate movie trailer, the Christian world is preparing to be rocked by the discovery of a new monkey species in Central Africa — a species that eerily resembles the “restored” Spanish Jesus fresco that has been sarcastically dubbed as Ecce Mono […]

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Pocho Ocho reasons God Almighty loves Republicans

by PAYAN DE SKYE August 29, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Pocho Ocho reasons God Almighty loves Republicans

It’s no secret that God (photo, right) loves Republicans, even if you didn’t hear it over and over last night on TV. Here are the Pocho Ocho reasons why: 8. He banks offshore, too 7. Pat Robertson always blames His storms on liberals 6. Funny, you don’t look Jewish!

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Pat Robertson: Tropical storm is God’s warning to Godless God-mockers

by JERRY MIRA August 27, 2012 Audio
Thumbnail image for Pat Robertson: Tropical storm is God’s warning to Godless God-mockers

(PNS reporting from VIRGINIA) Rev. Pat Robertson told viewers of his 700 Club last night that Tropical Storm Isaac’s assault on the GOP National Convention in Florida is a warning to sinners. “You goddam shit-for-brains idiots better pay some goddam attention or our Lord and Savior is gonna whip your sorry asses,” Robertson said. “Do […]

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Secret New Hampshire: They lie about origins, talk funny and hate God

by Lucida Grandé January 10, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Secret New Hampshire: They lie about origins, talk funny and hate God

(PNS reporting from NEW ENGLAND) New Hampshire is the small Yanqui state where Republicans vote today in a primary election. When tonight’s results come in, remember where they’re coming from – a jurisdiction where people live a lie, talk in a dialect devoid in rhoticity and don’t go to church like other Americans! These are […]

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