Maybe I’ll vote this year. Really, as long as I remember where the place is and I can get a space, and if, well, it depends what’s going on that day. After all, “we’re up to our ears in Mexicans!” (An epic musical production.)
H/T LAObserved.com.
COMIC SAENZ
Cypress Hill, Rusko, Damian Marley: ‘Can’t Keep Me Down’ (video)
South Gate, CA homeboys Cypress Hill released Insane in the Brain (video, below) almost 20 years ago. It’s 2012, do you know where your brain is? Why here it is — up “amongst the clouds!”
This visually stunning new music video, Can’t Keep Me Down, is a Cypress Hill collaboration with dubstep producer Rusko and Damian Marley. You totally want to maximize your video player and crank your sound for this. (Possibly NSFW lyrics.)
Here’s your flashback:
Mas…Cypress Hill, Rusko, Damian Marley: ‘Can’t Keep Me Down’ (video)
Sometimes the hardest choice is ‘The Second Choice’ (video)
In Los Angeles, an immigrant single mom tries to teach her son to do the right thing, but talk is cheap when the rent is due tomorrow and your only income is as an unlicensed street vendor. What would you do when it all came down to The Second Choice?
Short film by Alberto Belli. Spanglish with English subtitles.
Michael J. Fox is Martinez McFly in ‘Back to the Future’ blooper (video)
We don’t think “Hey, puto!” was in the script.
Season of the Witch: Pinche zombies walk all over Hollywood (photos)
Halloween and Dia de Los Muertos AND Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 are approaching, and, dontcha know, the pinche zombies are getting restless. Some zombified cholas showed up at the Zombie Walk on Hollywood Boulevard Sunday and POCHO amigo photographer Dan Cooke AKA The Steel Shark was there.
Here’s a mini gallery:
Mas…Season of the Witch: Pinche zombies walk all over Hollywood (photos)
Radioambulante: When Lalo invented ‘Self Deportation’ (audio)
Lalo Alcaraz AKA Daniel D. Portado invented Self Deportation as a joke in 1994, and now it’s part of Gov. Mitt Romney’s platform. Nancy Lopez interviewed the Jefe-in-Chief for Radioambulante.
Exclusive: Obama preps ‘zingers’ for debate with Romney (photo)
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Pres. Barack Obama, stung by criticism of his lackluster performance in the first debate, is hard at work prepping for tonight’s encounter with Gov. Mitt Romney. Sources tell PNS that First Lady Michelle Obama is helping out with flashcards of “zingers” and furnished this exclusive photo.
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.
Things were simpler then: Convenience food ad from the 50s (video)
Things were simpler then, when you didn’t have to worry about stuff like cholesterol and vegetables and carbs and gluten — the good old 1950s when a foil-wrapped TV Dinner meant a party for your mouth — a mouth party in vivid black and white! It was the Age of Tang for Pete’s sake! How many of you are old enough to remember this Mom-approved easy-to-prepare specialty, oven-ready Suck’em Downs?
Rosie Perez to Romney: Being a Latina is SO much easier! (video)
Dear Governor Romney: You were so totally right about how much easier it would be if you were a Latino. Even luckier, a Latina with a vagina!
Did you like this video? We sure do! Pero k lastima, so many people came to see it this morning our servers crashed. We need more and better gear. Can you help POCHO make and serve up more ñews y satire with a contribution? Read our clever pitch and kick in $10 or $20 if you can. ¡Gracias!
Toke the Vote urges big turnout for Tuesday Presidential election
(PNS reporting from OAKLAND) “Are you planning on voting Tuesday, brah?” Dale Mendoza scrunched his eyes shut behind his dark sunglasses as he concentrated on his phone call with a potential voter in Arkansas.
“This election is critical, OK, and we totally need your vote.” Mendoza (photo, left) was the team leader of two dozen phone bank volunteers in a basement office in this Northern California city, possible the country’s most pot-friendly municipality.
The smoke-filled room is a California outpost of Toke the Vote, a coalition of pro-marijuana political activists backed by the Zig-Zag cigarette papers company and ConAgra’s Screaming Yellow Zonkers snack products.
Mas…Toke the Vote urges big turnout for Tuesday Presidential election
Ñewsweek: Obama speaks Spanish, Cesar y Hugo Chavez, angry Chicana
There he goes again, that esneaky Barack Obama appealing to voters in a foreign language! For real Americans (who only speak English), we’ve translated his latest commercial so you can understand exactly where this vato is coming from. Sorry, we said “vato.”
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, as both Cesar y Hugo Chavez made the headlines. The official National Monument to civil rights hero Cesar Chavez was dedicated in Kern County by El Presidente (POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz was there with his family and a camera) and Iran-loving commie dictator Hugo Chavez got reelected and then endorsed Obama.
And in San Francisco’s Mission District, one angry Chicana was not at all happy with her vida loca and wrote all about it. These are the stories that broke the ñews this week on POCHO:
Mas…Ñewsweek: Obama speaks Spanish, Cesar y Hugo Chavez, angry Chicana
Pinche zombies attack another shopping mall, this one in Spain (video)
Zombies like shopping malls, although no one knows exactly why. In the award-winning short Zombies and Cigarettes the ghouls attack a mall in Spain and four people try to survive and escape. Will they find an exit? Will they find true love? Or, failing that, will they be able to get the blood off their clothes? (Warning: Gory violence. Spanish with English titles.)
Momfidential: Should I consider hiring a Latina nanny? (video)
When bringing a strange woman into your home to help raise your children, many things need to be considered. In this episode of Momfidential, mommy bloggers Byrdie and Linden discuss the pros and cons of Latina and Eastern European nannies.
Cri-Cri, El Grillito Cantor: ‘La Marcha De Las Letras’ (video)
Face it — you could use some remedial work on your Spanish vowels (las cinco vocales.) But when everyone’s favorite singing cricket is around, mijos, it’s easy! Cri-Cri is here with La Marcha De Las Letras. (Yes, we know about the flaca and the gorda and the letters I and O. This song is from history. The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there.)
Here are the lyrics:
Mas…Cri-Cri, El Grillito Cantor: ‘La Marcha De Las Letras’ (video)
Obama speaks Spanish in new TV ad: We’ve got English captions (video)
Pres. Barack Obama’s reelection campaign continues to reach out to Latino voters with commercials en Espanol and he actually speaks Spanish himself in this new spot. We’ve got English captions/subtitles for people who don’t.
Mayan Apocalyspe here? The Stones are all ‘Doom and Gloom’ (video)
It’s a brand new Rolling Stones song and it’s about zombies! No, it isn’t about Keef, even though it’s called Doom and Gloom. It’s about fracking, senseless wars, thieving politicos, heartless asshats, etc.
Mick Jagger saves the world of course:
[I] crash landed in the Louisiana swamp, shot up a horde of zombies but I come out on top
Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: Klaus Müller
They were ordinary people living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstance conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.
Klaus Müller started out in the back row of the accordian section on Lawrence Welk’s pioneering 1950 TV show, next to the bubble machine. Before long his big eyes, stormy baritone voice and fast fingers led to featured solo spots on the Saturday night live telecast.
When the Welk show wasn’t on the air, squeeze box virtuoso Müller toured Southern California dance halls, billing himself as the Naughty King of Western Swing. At a packed date in Burbank, his version of Tampa Red‘s Let’s Get Drunk and Truck caught the ear of CBS-TV producer Mel “Pinky” Diamond, who needed a co-star for a wacky red-headed starlet in new comedy.
Colombia space aliens sing, do special propeller beanie dance (video)
Monareta, a band made up of dancing aliens from outer space, has the best spinning propeller nerd beanies in all of Colombia. This is their video, Llama. That’s all we know for sure. If you have any additional information, please contact the appropriate authorities in your jurisdiction. And dance!
This is the angriest big bird you will see today (video)
It’s a loud chicken, and then it’s a really angry bird. (No frijoles were harmed in the making of this video.)
Dead and more dead in the drug war and only ‘The Silence’ (video)
When the kids ask why all these people are dying in Mexico’s Drug War, what do you say? The unmistakable David Hidalgo of Los Lobos (with harmonies by Jackson Browne) sings of The Silence on this Los Cenzontles tune recorded by the veteran East Bay collective in L.A.’s Echo Park in February. Closing guitar solo by Eugene Rodriguez.
Won’t you join them? Arise Roots is ‘Moving Forward’ (music video)
Many POCHO amigos are involved in this video (production, direction, love, etc.) so we’re proud to debut the latest from homies Arise Roots; the band is Moving Forward. Won’t you come along?
Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: Jed Bartlet
They were ordinary people living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstance conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.
When a liberal Supreme Court justice retired in 1998, Pres. Jed Bartlet and his staff thought this was the perfect opportunity to increase approval ratings with a politically “safe” nominee, Judge Peyton Harrison.
The retiring justice, a liberal, was not impressed by Bartlet’s choice and urged him to consider another candidate. Bartlet asked his aide Toby Ziegler to review their decision. Ziegler, after walking and talking with other habitues of the West Wing, was uncomfortable with the prospect of losing the easy confirmation, but complied.
Zeigler learned that Harrison once argued against a guarantee of privacy, and told Bartlet a backup candidate should be vetted as a possible replacement nominee.
David Byrne/La Portuaria: Today I’m not afraid of dyin’ (music video)
David Byrne and Argentina’s La Portuaria team up to defy fear and death in Hoy lo le temo a la muerte.
NBC profiles Jefe Lalo Alcaraz for Hispanic Heritage Month (video)
It’s only fair, really. POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz gets props during Hispanic Heritage Month, or, as he likes to call it, Latino Heritage Month. Ana Garcia of KNBC Los Angeles reports.
Victorious Hugo Chavez to Americans: ‘Back my socialist amigo Obama’
(PNS reporting from CARACAS) Hugo Chavez — re-elected to a third six-year term as president of Venezuela — has again called on Americans to re-elect Pres. Barack Obama.
In a four-hour televised speech to his nation late Sunday, Chavez called Obama the best hope for Socialism in the Western Hemisphere. The left-wing strong man had previously endorsed the President in September.
“El Obama deserves your support, gringos,” he said in a rare foray into English. “He may not admit to being a Marxist-Leninist but inside he is as red as your Danny Glover and Oliver Estone. “
Mas…Victorious Hugo Chavez to Americans: ‘Back my socialist amigo Obama’
Bain Capital’s Mal*Mart gives back to local communities (video)
This short educational video from Mal★Mart (a Bain Capital subsidiary) explains how the retail chain is a good neighbor, supporting local communities and creating jobs all across America — with a smile. The case study features Latina entrepreneur Maria Muñoz of Maria’s Flan.
Ñewsweek: Romney rocked, America crocked, FDR shocked
It’s Mitt Romney’s world, and we just live in it.
This ñewsweek the GOP presidential wannabe filled up POCHO’s infotainment bandwidth with debate shenanigans, Big Bird bashing, Latino-loving at Chipotle and a new commercial shot on Los Angeles’ Olvera Street.
Reaction from around the country included emergency rooms overflowing with debate drinking game alcohol poisoning cases, the previously dead Franklin Delano Roosevelt rising from grave and making a YouTube appearance, y mas mas more.
The most popular stories this week:
Forget Big Bird! Meet Señor Loro, the Latino parrot candidate (video)
From Los Titeres (the puppets): Don’t waste your vote on the phony mainstream yellow bird candidate until you consider wasting your vote on the Puppet Party’s Latino red parrot candidate — Señor Loro for Presidente! (Borderline NSFW language and a disturbing bird bigote.)
Video by Felix Pire. LosTiteresTV is on Facebook and on the Internets.
–Freelancer Junior Wences PhD writes by hand.
Don’t wait for immigration reform: PORT-A-BORDER is here! (video)
“Comprehensive immigration reform” is like the weather — everyone talks about it but no one does anything about it. That’s why real Americans are going wild over PORT-A-BORDER, the personal hi-tech illegal immigration solution that keeps those darn Mexicans out of your personal space. (Possibly NSFW language.)
Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: George Romney
They were ordinary people living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstance conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.
When Michigan Gov. George Romney‘s GOP presidential nomination campaign came to the New York World’s Fair in 1964 (photo, left, with son Mitt) an intense young wannabe TV reporter named Gerry Riviera was on the scene.
The nice Jewish boy from Brooklyn was confused after his college experience at the University of Arizona. He had been strangely at home in the desert Southwest, but was still a gefilte fish out of water. What to do with his life?
“I was born to American parents in Mexico,” Romney told reporters as he toured the crumbling, deeply-indebted Spanish Pavilion. “In some ways, it would be helpful to be Latino.” Son Mitt nodded his head in agreement.
Santeria? It’s what’s for dinner! ‘Otto and the Electric Eel’ (video)
In Otto and the Electric Eel, a modern adaptation of an Afro-Cuban Santeria myth, Miami bass legend Otto Von Schirach (playing the role of Chango, god of thunder) battles to keep an inter-dimensional creature (serpent god Damballah) from ruining his dinner date.
Back from the dead and live on YouTube, FDR on the debate (video)
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 32nd Presidente of Los United Estates, is back from the dead and live on YouTube with a video that explains the first Presidential Debate in just one minute.