Breaking Ñews: San Bernardino teenager addicted to Takis

(PNS reporting from SAN BERNARDINO) Mary Hernandez has a problem: she’s addicted to Takis. The 17-year-old California cannot get enough of the spicy imported Mexican corn chips.

“She eats Takis all the time instead of real food,” lamented her mother Laura, while stirring a pot of beans. “She needs real food; look — she’s getting too skinny!”

Hernandez, a senior at San Bernardino High School, said her Takiphilia began when a friend offered her “just a little taste” behind the gym after school. She snuck a bite and has been madly munching away since.

“Look, I can stop whenever I want to — I just don’t want to, OK?” Hernandez told PNS.

But her mother disagrees.

“Sometimes she gets chorro and can’t stop complaining that her culo is on fire — what kind of a food does that to you? Plus, it’s annoying, there is red powder everywhere and there’s the constant crunching,” she said.

The Uptown family staged a fruitless intervention and is now considering seeking professional help for Hernandez.

Original photo of a totally unrelated person via A Sober Way Home.

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