The KNCT-TV Channel 2 CBS morning news team in Denver tries out a Paqui tortilla chip — made with the Carolina Ghost chile, supposedly the hottest pepper evah — and you won’t believe what happens next.
True story! In a cantina in the deserts of MexiArabia, the customers ate so many Cheetos Flames that their lips turned red. To cover up, they grew mustaches, and the donkeys too.
For those keeping track, a donkey in Arabic is “alhimar” الحمار . [Gracias to POCHO amigo BAF in Q8 for the translation help.]
Are you sure this is how you do it? We love our mango con chile especially, but this looks wrong. [Fruta+Chile is by MMNTO.]
Want to live longer? It’s easy, according to the BBC. Eat more chiles! Specifically, the BBC recommends “chillies,” and we’ll do them a favour and labour under their rules whilst minding the gap:
For thousands of years, humans have taken a masochistic pleasure from adding chilli to their food. Now research indicates that the spice that has undoubtedly made our lives more interesting may also make them longer.
There is only one mammal that enthusiastically eats chillies.
Eating spicy food is associated with a reduced risk for death, an analysis of dietary data on more than 485,000 people found.
Study participants were enrolled between 2004 and 2008 in a large Chinese health study, and researchers followed them for an average of more than seven years, recording 20,224 deaths. The study is in BMJ.
After controlling for family medical history, age, education, diabetes, smoking and many other variables, the researchers found that compared with eating hot food, mainly chili peppers, less than once a week, having it once or twice a week resulted in a 10 percent reduced overall risk for death. Consuming spicy food six to seven times a week reduced the risk by 14 percent.
Wow. There is this seasoning, Cappy, and you too, Kirsten and Brooke – there is this TAJIN seasoning for your fruit AND veggies! Spicy! Salty! Lime! Totes, like, amazeballs! It adds a ZING! to everything! I wonder where they get these ideas?
PREVIOUSLY ON TAJIN:
Teresa de Jesus Sandoval was named the champion at the Father’s Day habanero chile eating contest at Chichenitza in Downtown L.A. after scarfing down 53 of the the scorching peppers in 20 minutes.
PREVIOUSLY ON CHILES:
Can intrepid POCHO Associate Naranjero Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano and OC Weekly colleague Nick Schou make it through the Nuke Burger, said to be the hottest/spiciest hamburger in Orange County?
How spicy is it? The OC Weekly’s Charles Lam reports:
The Nuke Burger [at Bombburger in Huntington Beach] is quite possibly the spiciest burger in Orange County at the moment, featuring a who’s who’s list of hottest peppers in the world (Scorpion and Reaper for you pepper heads, as well as Ghost Pepper Jack Cheese).
Why, hello there, I’m a Latina vagina and I have a message for heterosexual guys. Now I know what you’re going to ask me: “How well-groomed am I?”
No seas cochino! That’s none of your business, that’s personal. But I am here to, uh, talk business because I’m tired of all of these assumptions people make about me!
When a Brazilian TV guy tries to prank visiting Mexican futbol fans with what he thinks is super-spicy salsa, it turns out the joke is actually on him. What’s uber picante in Brazil, tu sabes, ranks as “meh” to Mexicanos. One intended victim actually thinks Brazil-boy’s salsa is kind of “sweet.”
PREVIOUSLY ON SALSA:
Competitive eater Molly Schuyler (all 125 pounds of her) takes on “the world’s hottest burrito” at Allan’s Authentic Mexican Restaurant in PDX. Can she show the same competitive spirit and stamina that helped her finish a 72-ounce steak in a previous webisode? The 2-pound “wet” Diablo Burrito is filled with rice, beans and habanero, serrano, Bhut Jolokia, Carolina Reaper and Trinidad Scorpion chiles. Allan challenges patrons to finish the $20 burrito bomb in 10 minutes to win the acclaim of the nation and get their burrito money back.
Aaron, who produced Molly’s Diablo Burrito web video, needed over 8 minutes when he tried to finish the Diablo Burrito himself:
It’s not that Latinas don’t love hearing how their individual characteristics pale in comparison to stereotypes thrown around on talk radio…well, actually, they don’t love it. At all.
NOLA student Sophia Garcia says the stereotypes that bother her most are the ones she hears when she share her “opinions” — that she’s being overly “spicy” and “ghetto.” Who would be bothered by that? Probably anyone.
What you think?
PREVIOUSLY ON STEREOTYPES:
Last month we made fun of the out-of-touch radio stations who wouldn’t run commercials for Pizza Patron’s massive pepperoni and jalapeño topped pie because the La Chingona name was too, uhm, spicy. Silly squares! The joke was on you, and the triumphant mad men and marketeers at the Texas-based company posted this video Thursday to tell you all about it.
Given the continued popularity of POCHO’s story on sexy Latinas with sexy feet (Selena Gomez = #1) and our continued coverage of all things hot and spicy, this video featuring Hot Sauce on Naked Feet was a must-publish-on POCHO moment for us. We’re not proud of that and we’re also disappointed Tabasco was as far as this guy goes. And aren’t you supposed to put sauce on someone else’s feet? The Internets are one big ball of confusion. [NSFW adult language.]
(PNS reporting from RANCHO POCHO ESTATES) In a shocking file uploaded to the Internets last week, a mom in suburban Southern California has been captured on video feeding her baby hot salsa in a baby bottle in order to pay for her husband’s “picante burger” habit.
In the video, a spicy burger pusher known only as “Jack” — his true identity hidden by a grotesque disguise — rings the family’s doorbell and pretends to be religious missionary so the neighbors don’t suspect. “Do you have three minutes to talk about spicy hamburgers?” he asks burger-junkie Juan Desperado, who opens the door.
“I have some something here I think you’ll like,” the pusher says.
He just posted a set of scanned 1936-37 covers from pulp fiction magazine Spicy Western Stories and its siblings that all exploit the same stereotype — the leering (ugly) (brown) bandido and the (scantily-clad) (white) chica/victim in distress. Hate much?
The image above is just one slice of the four covers Memo found; the big images of all four are below (click to enlarge):
Like a Biblical prophet of doom, a God-fearing Christian Conservative who tracks “Degenerate Culture” is trumpeting the news of a clear and present danger:
Hot and spicy tortilla chips are destroying the AMERICA WE LOVE WHICH USED TO EAT LOTS OF PATRIOTIC POTATO CHIPS NOT THESE ADDICTIVE ALIEN ABOMINATIONS.
Derby Mac (An American Patriot who has dedicated his life to loving his country and preparing his family for the National Apocalypse. He would like to thank the Founding Fathers, President Reagan and Jesus Christ for the opportunity to share Wisdom) writes:
They’re dark. They’re spicy. They’re one of the most alluring treats in our food aisles today. For a child, they’re something fancy, like attending a birthday party in a collared shirt.
For a man home alone, a single bag is as good as an entire meal. But what are we really getting ourselves into with these flashy foreign snacks?
Should we be at all concerned that Doritos are now more popular than good old-fashioned American potato chips?
TV network Univision is numero uno and Latinos are fast becoming America’s new demographic champions. Our MiJA, Elise Rodenbeck, offers some advice for gringos on dealing with this new reality. Hint: Food is “spicy,” women are not.
(PNS reporting from SAN BERNARDINO) Mary Hernandez has a problem: she’s addicted to Takis. The 17-year-old California cannot get enough of the spicy imported Mexican corn chips.
“She eats Takis all the time instead of real food,” lamented her mother Laura, while stirring a pot of beans. “She needs real food; look — she’s getting too skinny!”
Hernandez, a senior at San Bernardino High School, said her Takiphilia began when a friend offered her “just a little taste” behind the gym after school. She snuck a bite and has been madly munching away since.
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) A new web series on Hulu is poised to blow the lid off the unprecedented rise of sexy Latinos currently overrunning East Los Angeles. The series, East Los High, is a riveting expose of the rapid “sexrification” of the historically low-and-slow Chicano community.
“The kids at East Los High are hot, they’re ripped, and they can dance,” said Garfield High School alum Alberto “Sleepy” Gonzalez. “When I drop my kid off at school, it looks like he’s stepping into another country, like Puerto Rico.”