Nela Zisser, competitive eater, model, and Miss Earth New Zealand 2013, turns her deep throat up to 11 as she finishes a five-pound burrito in five minutes, topping MEGATOADS’ two-pound burritozilla record.
Cultura
It’s Not News to Us
Gustavo Arellano to UC Riverside grads: ‘You are secular saints’
Saturday morning, I had the honor of giving the commencement speech at UC Riverside’s College of Arts, Humanities, and Social Sciences for their Sociology, Philosophy, Neuroscience, and Psychology students (what a mouthful!).
Following are my prepared remarks, which I mostly hewed to. I did begin my speech with an explanation of what ustedes and y’all meant, and the pocos pero locos line was improvised and laughed at by about three people.
Anyhoo, enjoy!
Let’s start with an experiment, shall we?
I want all the psychology majors to stand up? Applaud them, por favor, for getting to this special day.
Mas…Gustavo Arellano to UC Riverside grads: ‘You are secular saints’
eBay bidding has begun! @LaloAlcaraz’ AZTEC SK8R UPDATED*
I started this painting last week as part of a series of Mexicas (Aztecs) living and reacting to today’s world.
I was reminded of on-again, off-again modern-day Mexicas by a hate letter/post I got from the organizer and head poobah of a brown “self-hate” group, the Mexica Movement.
These geniuses are the Chicano equivalent of the kooky Westboro Baptist Church, except that instead of attacking everyone for living alongside gays, they attack their own community of Raza for such crimes as drawing a nationally-syndicated comic strip, or daring to perform Aztec Dance.
Mas…eBay bidding has begun! @LaloAlcaraz’ AZTEC SK8R UPDATED*
Abuela with iPad terrorizes area family via Facebook
(PNS reporting from CHICAGO) Rigoberto “Rigo” Chavez, 15, cringed in horror when he logged into Facebook Thursday morning and received a notification that his abuelita had once again commented on his status.
The high school junior had posted a status that read “$waaaag$” and Abuelita replied in ALL CAPS:
CACHORRITO ERES LA LUZ DE MI VIDA. CUIDATE MUCHO TE QUIERO
In Oz, ‘Mexican feast hamper’ means happy employees (video)
We think this short commercial from the Land Down Under urges companies to improve employee morale by giving homesick painters named Mike either a “Mexican Face Tamper” or a “Mexican feast hamper.” We just don’t speak Australian.
PREVIOUSLY ON MEXICAN AUSTRALIAN:
Mas…In Oz, ‘Mexican feast hamper’ means happy employees (video)
#TBT Throwback Thursday Video: Frida Kahlo: The lost home movies
Check out this chingon montage of short clips of Frida Kahlo. The footage shows Kahlo working in her studio, talking with her husband Diego Rivera and posing with her lover Leon Trotsky.
Mas…#TBT Throwback Thursday Video: Frida Kahlo: The lost home movies
Pop-up restaurant serves ‘East Coast’ elotes, sopes y churros (video)
Then there was the time chef Jonathan Pimental popped up a restaurant on the roof of an LA building and served “East Coast” elotes, designer sopes and elegant churros.
Mas…Pop-up restaurant serves ‘East Coast’ elotes, sopes y churros (video)
The @LaloAlcaraz AZTEC SK8R auction is less than 24 hours away
POCHO is auctioning off my AZTEC SK8R painting starting Wednesday night, June 10, at 7PM PDT. Check back here tomorrow for the details and the link that could make this painting your own!
I’m all about AZTEC SK8R ON MY INSTAGRAM.
Hey Vato! Chuy needs to go but Angie is all ‘Chola Selfie’ (video)
It’s time for old girlfriends, secret tears and family dynamics in the latest episode of Hey Vato!
When Chuy’s sister Angie hogs the bathroom taking selfies, Smiley interrupts the subsequent sibling discussion with insight from author, artist and poet e.e. cummings.
Mas…Hey Vato! Chuy needs to go but Angie is all ‘Chola Selfie’ (video)
Pet or piñata? What’s to become of ‘Hola Llamigo?’ (video)
When you’re the son of a ranchero, you are supposed to accept that livestock are not pets, and someday they’ll end up as a human’s dinner … or worse.
Mas…Pet or piñata? What’s to become of ‘Hola Llamigo?’ (video)
Demons attack Christian pastor during Nicaragua exorcism (video)
Set your Magic Holy Water Squeeze & Spray Plastic Atomizer on Maximum Ojo as a “Christian Pastor Is Attacked By Evil Spirit On Camera,” according to the LiveLeak uploader:
MANAGUA, NICARAGUA (Central America) 6 dolls made from cloth and drenched in unknown blood were left on the frontyard of a house, the residents claim that now the house is inundated with evil spirts [sic].
Mas…Demons attack Christian pastor during Nicaragua exorcism (video)
Monsanto is murdering the native maiz of Mexico (video trailer)
The millenia-old native species of Mexican maiz are being forced from the Earth by GMO seeds foisted on growers by international food cartels like Monsanto. The trailer for the upcoming documentary Sunu takes a look at the problem.
Mas…Monsanto is murdering the native maiz of Mexico (video trailer)
Cristela Alonzo: Get your racist stereotypes right, people! (video)
Before she was a TV star, Cristela Alonzo wanted to make sure the haters and racists got their stereotypes right!
Mas…Cristela Alonzo: Get your racist stereotypes right, people! (video)
Mr. Manager: WTF is this ‘Hispanic Option Dr Pepper’? (NSFW video)
Excuse me, Mr. Store Manager in San Antonio, Texas. I see you’re selling Hispanic Option Dr Pepper. Is it good? Do you have White Option Dr Pepper? Black Option? Korean? Chinese? [NSFW adult language.]
Mas…Mr. Manager: WTF is this ‘Hispanic Option Dr Pepper’? (NSFW video)
TGIF with Toby Keith: ‘I’ll Never Smoke Weed With Willie Again’ (video)
They’ve got some big problemas down in Texas — starting with asshole Senator Ted Cruz (R-PENDEJO).
Thank God for national treasure Willie Nelson, seen here enjoying a serenade by Toby Keith and Scott Emerik.
It’s a mournful lament called I’ll Never Smoke Weed With Willie Again.
Looks legit: Help the wealthy with American Gold Cross (video)
It’s a tragedy that happens every day – but it doesn’t have to be that way. Please reach deep in your pockets to help the extremely wealthy, with American Gold Cross.
California Feetwarmers and LA Shag: Dance to ‘San’ (#TBT 1920s video)
Throwback Thursday #TBT takes us back to the “jazz age, the Roaring Twenties” as The California Feetwarmers perform live in DTLA’s historic Union Station with the dance troupe LA Shag. The song is San:
Mas…California Feetwarmers and LA Shag: Dance to ‘San’ (#TBT 1920s video)
I’m painting an Aztec skater to auction off – stay tooned!
I started painting an Aztec skater Tuesday afternoon for an a planned auction to benefit the mirth-making here at POCHO. Here’s how he looks so far:
Mas…I’m painting an Aztec skater to auction off – stay tooned!
Cartman of ‘South Park’ and JLo, who eats tacos y burritos (video)
Bootleg video of a South Park scene (it looks to be cellphone video of a TV screen) shows Cartman’s presentation for the Latino Endowment Committee, featuring special guest star Jennifer Lopez, who eats tacos y burritos, even though she is Puerto Rican. The actual, official clip is here, but for some reason they don’t allow embedding, so neener.
Santa Clara de Juarez, MX, the pueblo that lives on tortillas (video)
The 3000 indigenous residents of Santa Clara de Juarez make a living by making tortillas, starting with non-GMO corn they grow in their own fields. An Australian tortillero went to the town to document the process.
Mas…Santa Clara de Juarez, MX, the pueblo that lives on tortillas (video)
Scientist’s quest to reproduce abuela’s mole recipe ends in failure
(PNS reporting from RIVERSIDE) After a decade-long quest to duplicate his Oaxacan abuela’s mole poblano recipe, UC Riverside food scientist Miguel Jimenez, 33, declared defeat Sunday.
Microbiologist Jimenez had hoped to identify the ingredients in the mysterious chocolate chile sauce his abuela puts on chicken.
“She won’t give anyone the recipe!” said Jimenez, as he kicked his chair and wiped away tears at UCR’s Chucheria Research Facility. “Abuelita just pinches my cheek and tells me to portarme bien and go to church more.”
Mas…Scientist’s quest to reproduce abuela’s mole recipe ends in failure
Portsmouth, Hampshire, England gets a burrito bar (video)
On the island city of Portsmouth, in Hampshire, on the southern coast of England, some hard-to-understand blokes are bent on world domination. Will their Al’Burrito restaurant be the vanguard of a Mexican food revolution in the United Kingdom? Even though they apparently discovered Mexican food in Australia, they say they import ingredients from Mexico. Are you in Portsmouth? Have you ever been?
Mas…Portsmouth, Hampshire, England gets a burrito bar (video)
MORE COWBELL! The Mexican Juligans twang a tune for ‘Parral’ (video)
Twangy guitar-wielding Chilangos The Mexican Juligans name-check places all over the country in a surf-spaghetti-western-movie-theme music video inspired by classic cowboy flicks. And they especially ❤️ Parral, Chihuahua.
Mas…MORE COWBELL! The Mexican Juligans twang a tune for ‘Parral’ (video)
The problematic retirement of El Rey, greatest luchador ever (video)
When El Rey, the greatest Luchador ever, leaves the ring to live a normal life, things don’t go as planned. Nevertheless, VIVA LUCHA!
Mas…The problematic retirement of El Rey, greatest luchador ever (video)
How to sell stuff to passionate, emotional Hispanics (1-minute video)
You’re passionate, Mr. and/or Ms. Hispanic, and emotional. You like stories, and web video stories under one minute long especially. Do we have some stories for you! Also tacos, which all Hispanics love, futbol ditto, and la musica, piñatas and burros tambien. HEY! WHAT ABOUT SPICY?
Mas…How to sell stuff to passionate, emotional Hispanics (1-minute video)
White Mountain Apache getting more visits from ‘Big Hairy Man’ (video)
You call him Bigfoot. The Arizona White Mountain Apache Nation call him the Big Hairy Man. In this suspiciously-truncated and undated local video news report, eyewitnesses including law officers say the tall humanoid is venturing out of humanoid territory and into human territory lots more lately. The reports seem to date from 2009 with scant news since. Coincidence…or conspiracy?
Mas…White Mountain Apache getting more visits from ‘Big Hairy Man’ (video)
Native Americans, Native American-style (photos,video)
Native American (Apsáalooke) designer Bethany Yellowtail’s latest fashions are perfect on Ojibwe model Jade Willoughby and Tlingit/Koyukon/Athabascan model Martin Sensmeier. No cultures were appropriated in the making of these garments, these photos or this video.