China busts Mayan Apocalypse rumor spreaders, ex-USSR in panic mode

Denial is not only a river in Egypt but also an official policy of the Chinese Communist Party as the police state’s police arrested dozens for trying to warn the captive population about the Mayan Apocalypse Friday. [Be sure to synchronize your chronometers for The End of the World As We Know It with the OFFICIAL POCHO MAYAN DOOMSDAY countdown clock in the right column of this page.]

These brave “counter-revolutionaries” and “enemies of the people” are behind bars because they dared to tell to truth to billions of clueless Chinos.

From The Guardian:

It’s the end of the world – unless you’re in the Chinese Communist party. Over the past few weeks, Chinese authorities have detained over 93 people across seven provinces for spreading rumours that the end is nigh, laying bare the party’s obsession with social stability and maintaining its tight grip on power.

Many people in China believe in the so-called “Mayan apocalypse” – slated to take place on 21 December, the last day on the Mayan long count calendar – because it was the central premise of the disaster film 2012, a box office sensation in China when it was released three years ago.

A man who slashed 22 schoolchildren last week in Henan province was “psychologically affected” by doomsday rumours, wrote the state newswire Xinhua. Shoppers in Sichuan province have been panic buying candles, convinced that Friday will kick off three consecutive days of darkness.

The Guardian also reports ex-commies in the former CCCP are also in panic mode:

The apocalypse is surely near when Ramzan Kadyrov emerges as the voice of reason.

The ruthless leader of Chechnya is among dozens of Russians officials, priests, doctors and psychiatrists aiming to calm an anxious populace frantically preparing for the end of the world later this week.

“People are buying candles saying the end of the world is coming,” Kadyrov (photo, right) said in comments published on his official website last week. “Does no one realise that once the end of the world comes, candles won’t help them?”

For more than a month, Russians around the country have been buying up candles and matches, salt and torches in an effort to outsmart the apocalypse some believe will come when the Mayan calendar runs out on Friday.

In the coalmining town of Novokuznetsk, shelves nearly emptied of salt stocks last month as the city’s residents prepared to ride through the end of the world. “60 tonnes were bought in one week,” Yelena Zuyeva, a city official, said last week in comments carried on the local administration’s website. “Today all trade companies are working and are ready for any level for consumer activity.”

Online forums have been buzzing with people exchanging tips on what to eat after the entire human population is wiped out on Friday. “If I’m not mistaken, Russia makes all sorts of dehydrated products that are rich in all kinds of vitamins,” a user named Yelena Portnenkova wrote on a forum called “How to live? What to eat?” on VKontakte, the Russian version of Facebook. “Yet filling a garage with stocks of food is not just pointless, but dangerous. If the apocalypse comes, then crowds of hungry, angry, terrified and horrified people will sweep into your garage just because they suspect they might find something edible.”

POCHO has prepared this handy survival guide — please clip and save

Unforeseen dangers and unknown entities will be lurking in your No-Tech Future Hell on Earth (think Mad Max meets the chupacabra), what you have with you will determine whether you live or die.

Aside from rice, beans, water, sanitary supplies and beer (which will also be the means of exchange, i.e., money), these are the pocho ocho top items you need:

-------------- ✂ CLIP & SAVE ✂ --------------

8. Aqua Net
7. VapoRub
6. Switchblade (for him)
5. Chanclas (for her)
4. La Virgen candles
3. Sriracha sauce (don’t judge)
2. RATM t-shirts (him and her.) Chupacabras hate RATM.

And the numero uno thing you’ll need in your Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 20012 survival kit is…

An accordian — art, entertainment and a long-range low-tech high-impact weapon all in one!


Screen captures via The Guardian.