[More like this from Dan Piraro at Bizarro.com.]
A 15-year-old boy believes he has discovered a forgotten Mayan city using satellite photos and Mayan astronomy.
Maya civilization chose the location of its towns and cities according to its star constellations.
Company claims indigenous communities lived on maiz, tortillas and McRibs
(PNS reporting from CHICHEN ITZA) In a fresh effort by McDonald’s to prove that “tamales are a thing of the past,” the U.S. food chain has opened locations at famed Aztec and Mayan sites of Teotihuacan and Chichen Itza, with plans to expand to Guatemala’s Tikal and Peru’s Machu Picchu, according to a spokesperson.
For hundreds of years, linguists have been trying to decode the ancient hieroglyphic script of the Mayans, left behind on monument carvings, painted pottery, and drawn in handmade bark-paper books.
Musician Xavier Quijas Yxayotl blows a “death whistle” made from jade stone (Silvato de la Muerte hecho en Jade).
A death whistle? Huh? Via the Oregon Flute store:
When we last visited the Chipotle Mexican Grill saga, the issue was the inability of the food chain to find any Latino writers to feature on their writer-decorated packaging.
Have they learned? An observant blogger and Mayan art geek in Philadelphia visited a Center City Chipotle Mexican Grill location and did a quick double-take when he saw the bas-relief artwork on the walls.
Here’s how University of Pennsylvania grad student Taylor Jones tells the story:
One spectacular find was a monster mouth portal carved with a stylized earth monster eye and fangs along the doorway jamb (photo.)
The cities, Lagunita and Tamchen, flourished in what is called the Late and Terminal Classic periods (600-1000 A.D.).
PREVIOUSLY ON MAYANS AND AZTECS AND OLMECS, OH MY:
(PNS reporting from HUNTINGTON PARK, CALIFAS) Hundreds of local athletic supporters — fans of the Mexican World Cup futbol team — celebrated El Tri’s 3-1 victory over Croatia Monday afternoon (photo, above). The celebration was mostly peaceful and Huntington Park police said only four fans were arrested — three for disorderly conduct and one for leaning like a cholo in the wrong direction.
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.
Popcorn — palomitas de maíz — was discovered-invented-perfected in Peru circa 4700 BCE, the very first domesticated corn product. Watch how the corn pops, up close and personal.
The Aztecs and Mayans released the magic of chocolate (originally, xocolatl) to the world, only to lose the industry to Europe. Now, growing and processing chocolate in Mexico is virtually an An Act of Resistance. Video by The Perennial Plate. To find out about food tours like this, check out Intrepid Travel.
PREVIOUSLY ON ANCIENT ALIENS:
(PNS reporting from BELIZE CITY) The Nohmul complex, an ancient Mayan pyramid in the north of this Central American country, was recently bulldozed by a local contractor who used the crushed rock to “fill” a road. Nohmul was utilized as a ceremonial center 2,300 years ago.
After public outcry from archaeologists, local authorities said they would investigate the demolition.
Belize real estate attorney Alejandro Bolsa de Duchez defended the destruction:
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. HipHopAlkatraz and Midget Loco are proud to say Me Xicano. (NSFW language.)
POCHO’s web server crashed — along with the Mayan Calendar — at midnight Friday when our Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday Countdown Clock (since disabled) shut down at 00:00:00. If you stopped by after midnight — we rebooted at 7:30 AM — here’s what you saw and heard.
Can you help POCHO upgrade our infrastructure?
Email from astronomer and Venezuelan native Ricardo Salamé Páez details today’s schedule for the Mayan Apocalypse:
HORARIO DEL FIN DEL MUNDO para los Habla Hispana
06:30 – Apertura del Fin
07:00 – Lluvia de meteoritos
08:30 – Llegada del primer tsunami
10:00 – Bienvenida de los ovnis
10:30 – flashmob baile de ovnis al estilo de Gangnam
… 11:36 – Comienzo de la Destrucción (sub.)
12:00 – Eclipse y la alineación de todos los planetas del sistema solar
12:00-14:00 – ALMUERZO
Denial is not only a river in Egypt but also an official policy of the Chinese Communist Party as the police state’s police arrested dozens for trying to warn the captive population about the Mayan Apocalypse Friday. [Be sure to synchronize your chronometers for The End of the World As We Know It with the OFFICIAL POCHO MAYAN DOOMSDAY countdown clock in the right column of this page.]
These brave “counter-revolutionaries” and “enemies of the people” are behind bars because they dared to tell to truth to billions of clueless Chinos.
Yes, your Uncle Sam wastes your tax money on blogs while millions suffer and our country lurches toward the fiscal cliff. And Tio Sam says no Mayan Apocalypse for you, despite the obvious DOOMSDAY 2012 COUNTDOWN CLOCK in the right column of EVERY PAGE ON POCHO which says we only have two weeks left!
Ignoring hundreds of thousands of blog posts, websites, videos, prophecies and Tweets, Big Government wants to tell you what “scientists” think. These are the same “people” who think they know better than Hispanic Sen. Marco “Pollo” Rubio the age of the Earth. (It’s 6000 years, but who’s counting?)
Why are they doing this? “For the children!” )*&^%#
Here’s Monday’s official posting, from Blog.USA.gov:
Scary Rumors about the World Ending in 2012 Are Just Rumors
False rumors about the end of the world in 2012 have been commonplace on the Internet for some time. Many of these rumors involve the Mayan calendar ending in 2012 (it won’t), a comet causing catastrophic effects (definitely not), a hidden planet sneaking up and colliding with us (no and no), and many others.
The 1-2-inch clay balls were unearthed at an excavation of a kitchen at Escalera al Cielo in Yucatán.
Thought to be 1000 years old, the balls contained microscopic pieces of maize, beans, squash and root crops.