The ancient Mayans cooked their food with balls, according to recent archaeological discoveries.
The 1-2-inch clay balls were unearthed at an excavation of a kitchen at Escalera al Cielo in Yucatán.
Thought to be 1000 years old, the balls contained microscopic pieces of maize, beans, squash and root crops.
It’s coming — the End of the World As We Know it is just three weeks away — December 21 [CHECK OUR EXCLUSIVE MAYAN APOCALYPSE DOOMSDAY 2012 COUNTDOWN TIMER IN THE RIGHT COLUMN AND SYNCHRONIZE YOUR DEVICES.]
From the video:
The sun has been totally erupting with massive solar flares, dude, because the Earth and Jupiter are no longer in alignment, causing the Sun to fall inward on itself because there is less gravity pulling the Sun out, dig? Have you formulated emergency plans? It will be interesting to see what happens in the next 24 hours!
In China, Lu Zhenghai has been reading up on the upcoming Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday and he is totally prepared with his bitchin’ new self-constructed ark.
Mas…Mayan Apocalypse, solar flares (video), Chinese man builds ‘ark’
A perro muerto mummified by the Mayans, they think, is ready for tests in Merrie Olde Englande. Estimated age for the kaput canine is 1000 years or so, and the pooch doesn’t look a day over 200!
And while we’re on the subject of pet videos from Europe, in Russia, if you’re a cat, dog fetch you!
Mayans and Aztecs are the new black and now it’s only $1,949,000 for the Aztec/Mayan psychedelic pyramid estate of your dreams, right here in Pocho Estates (A Gated Community.) Here’s the listing and a mini photo gallery:
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR EXCITEMENT? Want to be transported from the Aztec Pyramids of the 16th Century, into a 23rd century architectural wonder? A monumental sculpture moves from one end of the infinity pool to the other, like Aztec steps leading to an array of futuristic marvels. As you float in this pool, youre at the top of a Mayan empire, surrounded by mountains. Its just you & nature.The first floor is 6700 square feet of openness,with a kitchen floating in the middle, awash in rich wood cabinets, and a breakfast area with four huge windows,all facing those magnificent mountains. Acid washed concrete floors link each area, interspersed with slate-wrapped pillars. Both the living area and master bedroom boast a 4-sided fireplace, wrapped in Italian tiles.
Mas…New listing: 23rd Century Aztec pychedelic pyramid hilltop estate
The desecration of Mayan heritage sites by so-called scientists continues in Guatemala, and the invaders just released a video to trumpet their “rediscovery” of the ancient Mayan Temple of the Night Sun near the town of El Zotz.
The interlopers will rediscover their fight or flight reactions on December 21 when they come face-to-face with the reincarnated spirit of Chak, who was once the King of El Zotz. The crew is currently looting Chak’s tomb.
Some 1,600 years ago, the Temple of the Night Sun was a blood-red beacon visible for miles and adorned with giant masks of the Maya sun god as a shark, blood drinker, and jaguar.
Mas…Scientists desecrate Mayan tomb of Chak, King of El Zotz (video)
They tried to discredit the calendars that clearly show the Mayan Doomsday Apocalypse is set for December. They laughed at the evidence of Ancient Astronauts who worked with indigenous people to build the pyramids of Aztlan. But now their own lasers — lasers controlled by a university named after the man who ripped Tejas away from La Raza — now their lasers have found Ciudad Blanca, the legendary lost “White City” of gold in Honduras. Who is laughing now?
The University of Houston reports:
A field team from the University of Houston and the National Science Foundation (NSF) National Center for Airborne Laser Mapping (NCALM) has mapped a remote region of Honduras that may contain the legendary lost city of Ciudad Blanca.
Mas…Lasers in the Honduran jungle pinpoint lost White City of Gold
Yes, we know the TacoCopter, the food-delivering unmanned aerial vehicle, was a gosh darn internet hoax, but this new Burritob0t with a web page and tech specs and photos filled with truthiness is the real thing. We swear!
So this guy at NYU made something special. Are you listening? Put down your phone. Listen. So they made a machine that prints… no, don’t check Twitter. They made a machine that prints burritos. It’s called Burritob0t. I know, right? Seriously. Slow down with the porn for a second. This is important.
Mas…Mayan Apocalypse 2012: Meet the word’s first burrito-making robot
“Whether they think it will come to an end through the hands of God, or a natural disaster or a political event, whatever the reason, one in seven thinks the end of the world is coming,” said Keren Gottfried, research manager at Ipsos Global Public Affairs which conducted the poll for Reuters.
“Perhaps it is because of the media attention coming from one interpretation of the Mayan prophecy that states the world ‘ends’ in our calendar year 2012,” Gottfried said.
Confused by the controversy? We need some disinformation and we need it now, and that’s why we turned to the Disinformation Company for this video.
Mas…Only 1 in 7 believe in impending Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012
This video comes directly from TrueReality.org so you know it’s right:
Irrefutable Evidence of ExtraTerrestrial Contact carved in Stone Thousands of Years ago on Pre-Mayans site. We shall finally change our History’s Books and let humanity knows our True Origins. The World is wakening up! Share the video with your parents and let everyone discuss it rationally and openly.
Part 2 below.
Mas…Share with your parents: UFO Mayan secrets, ancient aliens revealed
Every day brings us closer to Mayan Doomsday — Mother Earth will not rest.
Terrified reports of strange, unearthly noises have moved from the Upper Midwest and Canada to the Southwest, scaring the crap out of people in Amarillo, TX and rural Rogers County, OK.
South of the border, Mexican authorities just raised the alert level at the Popocatepetl volcano outside Mexico City.
The Amarillo incident is on video shot by two DJs from KISS FM who ran out of the studio to capture the ghostly howl (below).
Mas…Video: Strange noises terrify TX and OK, Popocatepetl rumbling
Yo what is up with all this Mayan Doomsday 2012 stuff? We need some disinformation and we need it now, and that’s why we turned to the Disinformation Company for this video. Like check it:
Disinformation Company producer Gary Baddeley, director Nimrod Erez and the Disinformation team contacted and arranged interviews with multiple experts, often obtaining speedy access due to more than ten years of working with them or colleagues in their fields!
Mas…Disinformation Company: Doomsday 2012 Science or Superstition?
Gov. Jerry Brown has sworn in UC Riverside professor Juan Felipe Herrera as California’s Poet Laureate — the first Chicano to get the honor. In this video, Herrera reads his poem 187 reasons Mexicanos can’t cross the border. The poem illustrates the difference between Jerry Brown’s California and Jan Brewer’s Hate State of Arizona, where Mexican-American Studies are outlawed. Cali isn’t perfect, but at least we know where we came from.
Here’s a novel idea: Why not ask some Mayans about the impending apocalypse? Undercurrents Alternative News did just that in 2012 The Mayan Word. In Spanish and English with English subtitles, this hour-long documentary takes a look at the impending death and obliteration of the world as we know it and beginning of our glorious metamorphosis into luminous beings of light in the Singularity to come. Or maybe not. The official writeup is below.
(PNS reporting from THE HATE STATE OF ARIZONA) It’s a mystery from history that’s too shiny to die:
Where exactly is Eldorado, the famed City of Gold built by ancient Aztlanians and hidden from the brutal “conquistadors?”
A swarm of recession-smacked out-of-towners asked the question again last week in Yuma County, AZ. The answer included injuries, Hollywood and politics as usual.
Mas…Searching for Eldorado’s City of Gold, modern ‘goldbugs’ infest AZ
Before X Files claimed “the truth is out there,” before anyone heard of the Mayan Apocalypse, visionary Bill Barker raised the alarm, warning the few who would listen about the real illegal immigration threat – the imminent invasion of Gray Aliens from Outer Espace.
For a while, anyhow. Then he went over to Their Side.
Hollywood-born Barker, who recently approached POCHO to sugarcoat his poison meme, claimed:
I “parquito the espanale” a little. And I was raised in East L.A., near Maywood.
This human sellout — channeling thought emanations from Zeta Reticuli — created, built, staffed and managed the SCHWA Corporation, the holding company of the grays. His mission? Carry out the commands of the Alien Overlords and complete the domination of Earth and its clueless Stick People.
Barker proudly gave POCHO his SCHWA World Operations Manual so we could make this video, ribbed for your protection.
Mas…SCHWA the Video: Dear ‘Stick People’ – Your Alien Overlords are here
(PNS reporting from HELL) GOP Presidential candidate Rick Santorum is making no attempt to distance himself from his inflammatory 2008 remarks accusing Satan of “attacking America” but Satan responded Wednesday, claiming that Santorum is in for a “big surprise.”
Pocho Ñews Service sent especial correspondent S. J. Rivera deep into Hades to interview the Prince of Darkness himself (see: not Ozzy Osbourne.) We wanted Lucifer’s thoughts on Santorum, Sarah Palin, the 2012 election and the Mayan-scheduled end of the world.
PNS: What are your thoughts about what Rick Santorum said about you?
Satan: Look, I’m a busy guy, but did I see his comments? Yes. Frankly I’m amused that he thinks so highly of himself. Every time he calls me I send him directly to voicemail and man, can that dude cry! Have you Googled his last name? Yikes! Rick has a lot in common with that Babeu guy in Arizona and believe me when I say there’s a hot date in both of their futures.
It was a big week for big news here at POCHO, where the big estory was our Mexclusive interview with new Twitter sensation @MexicanMitt, who told Pocho Ñews Service PNS “I’m in it to guin it!”
We also released the voicemail Catholic Bishop Gabino Zavala left when he told his boss the Archbishop about his secret life with a chica and two shorties.
The Racist White Ladies video (and response and apology videos) continued to amaze people who thought they’d seen everything from Arizona.
Turns out, Arizona-watchers, you ain’t seen anything, yet!
Click through for the stories and links.
Mas…Week in Ñews: @MexicanMitt, bishop with kids, racist white ladies, immigrants suck
The back story is that when Soviet linguist Yuri Knorozov deciphered the classic Mayan glyphs in 1952, a mini Mayan craze swept Red artistic circles. Propaganda subtext? Your code is not safe, comrade. A deck of playing cards was the result. Meet the Queen of Hearts, a lovely Д is for “dama” (dame or Дама) indeed. And her little chihuahua.
Write the funniest caption, win the funniest prize!
(PNS reporting from MIAMI) The imminent crash – later this week – of a Russian space probe scares local spiritual gurus and national experts alike. All of them fear that the death dive of the Russki rocket is a Cosmic Warning of the Mayan Doomsday, scheduled for Dec. 21. Their big brains, however, are split on ways to prevent the Beginning of the End.
“Oh it’s easy,” one local specialist told PNS. “Just burn the candles.” Futurologist Pat Robertson’s advice is just one word: “Run!”
Russians espace commissars have predicted that fragments from the failed Phobos-Ground probe are expected to fall to Earth around Jan. 15.
What can an ordinary person do?
“Candles, definitely lots of candles,” said S.W. 46th St. curandero Alejandro “La Luz de Jesus” Sosa.
Mas…Russki space junk crash brings Mayan Doomsday – are we screwed?
8. Wear more slimming clothes
7. Get a new job to supplement income from five other jobs
6. Take a vacation at one of those nice FEMA camps
5. Quit drinking alcohol that doesn’t get me fucked up really fast
4. Reduce financial stress by picking up a hobby, like bank robbing, or writing a hit song
3. Start eating my 10-year supply of freeze-dried survival food
2. “Party Like It’s 2012”
And my top New Year’s Resolution for 2012:
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What are your New Year’s resolutions? Post them here!
We as a species deserve whatever Mayan Doom 2012™ brings our way.
Tweet-comic Jon Hendren proved it on Xmas and Boxing Day when he retweeted people’s bitching about not getting the gifts they wanted. Boohoo, they moaned – no one loves me enough to give me the muy caro gadget I need sooo sooo badly.
I, on the other hand, was sad because I had no iPad … until I met a man who had no nalgas. Lookit these screenshots of Tweets: