An 8½” 20RPM disc containing this 11-minute recording was found on the elevator at 205 W. 57th St. in New York City on Feb. 11, 1969 by the composer Clark Gesner.
The beginning of the end, the middle of the end and the end itself dominated the ñews on POCHO this week.
Here are the week’s top stories:
Denial is not only a river in Egypt but also an official policy of the Chinese Communist Party as the police state’s police arrested dozens for trying to warn the captive population about the Mayan Apocalypse Friday. [Be sure to synchronize your chronometers for The End of the World As We Know It with the OFFICIAL POCHO MAYAN DOOMSDAY countdown clock in the right column of this page.]
These brave “counter-revolutionaries” and “enemies of the people” are behind bars because they dared to tell to truth to billions of clueless Chinos.
Every day brings us closer to the End of the World as We Know It on December 21 (synchronize your chronometers with our MAYAN APOCALYPSE DOOMSDAY COUNTDOWN CLOCK in the right column.)
All over the Internets, extremely concerned Trekkies are banding together to wear “expendable red” jerseys on The Last Day, so they can “die as Mr. Gene Rodenberry intended.”
And policia stationed near San Luis, AZ found a freshly-plowed field on the American side of the Colorado River scarred by craters and dotted with payloads of Mayan Marijuana apparently shot by cannabis cannoneers using a pneumatic cannon.
Pneumatic cannon? Federales found an empty industrial-sized CO2 canister, presumably propellant, in their hood.
Yes, your Uncle Sam wastes your tax money on blogs while millions suffer and our country lurches toward the fiscal cliff. And Tio Sam says no Mayan Apocalypse for you, despite the obvious DOOMSDAY 2012 COUNTDOWN CLOCK in the right column of EVERY PAGE ON POCHO which says we only have two weeks left!
Ignoring hundreds of thousands of blog posts, websites, videos, prophecies and Tweets, Big Government wants to tell you what “scientists” think. These are the same “people” who think they know better than Hispanic Sen. Marco “Pollo” Rubio the age of the Earth. (It’s 6000 years, but who’s counting?)
Why are they doing this? “For the children!” )*&^%#
Here’s Monday’s official posting, from Blog.USA.gov:
Scary Rumors about the World Ending in 2012 Are Just Rumors
False rumors about the end of the world in 2012 have been commonplace on the Internet for some time. Many of these rumors involve the Mayan calendar ending in 2012 (it won’t), a comet causing catastrophic effects (definitely not), a hidden planet sneaking up and colliding with us (no and no), and many others.
It’s coming — the End of the World As We Know it is just three weeks away — December 21 [CHECK OUR EXCLUSIVE MAYAN APOCALYPSE DOOMSDAY 2012 COUNTDOWN TIMER IN THE RIGHT COLUMN AND SYNCHRONIZE YOUR DEVICES.]
From the video:
The sun has been totally erupting with massive solar flares, dude, because the Earth and Jupiter are no longer in alignment, causing the Sun to fall inward on itself because there is less gravity pulling the Sun out, dig? Have you formulated emergency plans? It will be interesting to see what happens in the next 24 hours!
In China, Lu Zhenghai has been reading up on the upcoming Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday and he is totally prepared with his bitchin’ new self-constructed ark.
In an age when books have trailers, some trailers float higher in the flotsam and jetsam of mass-market, dead-tree publishing, especially when they graphically portray the destructive American volcanos and Atlantic tsunamis that will rock your world on Dec. 21. [See POCHO’s Mexclusive Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 Countdown Clock in the right column of this page.]
With Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 under three months away, time is running out to assemble the emergency survival supplies you’ll need in your underground shelter. [Check our countdown clock in the right column.]
Unforeseen dangers and unknown entities will be lurking in your No-Tech Future Hell on Earth (think Mad Max meets the chupacabra), what you have with you will determine whether you live or die.
Aside from rice, beans, water, sanitary supplies and beer (which will also be the means of exchange, i.e., money), these are the pocho ocho top items you need:
-------------- ✂ CLIP & SAVE ✂ --------------
8. Aqua Net
6. Switchblade (for him)
5. Chanclas (for her)
The desecration of Mayan heritage sites by so-called scientists continues in Guatemala, and the invaders just released a video to trumpet their “rediscovery” of the ancient Mayan Temple of the Night Sun near the town of El Zotz.
The interlopers will rediscover their fight or flight reactions on December 21 when they come face-to-face with the reincarnated spirit of Chak, who was once the King of El Zotz. The crew is currently looting Chak’s tomb.
Some 1,600 years ago, the Temple of the Night Sun was a blood-red beacon visible for miles and adorned with giant masks of the Maya sun god as a shark, blood drinker, and jaguar.
- Medical Menudo legalized in Connecticut
- Fast fun and easy aphrodisiac salsa
- Pocho Ocho reasons Mexican food is good for you
But is that the end of the fascinating food factorama? No guey! Check out these eight other hidden powers of Comida Latina:
8. You can use beans to power a moped
7. Vegetarianism is a gateway to loose American values
6. Eating a boiled duck egg fetus cures impotence
5. You can help end world hunger by eating more, mijo
Yes, we know the TacoCopter, the food-delivering unmanned aerial vehicle, was a gosh darn internet hoax, but this new Burritob0t with a web page and tech specs and photos filled with truthiness is the real thing. We swear!
So this guy at NYU made something special. Are you listening? Put down your phone. Listen. So they made a machine that prints… no, don’t check Twitter. They made a machine that prints burritos. It’s called Burritob0t. I know, right? Seriously. Slow down with the porn for a second. This is important.
We might not know anything about them, but Anonymous knows almost everything about us, including stuff THE MAN doesn’t want YOU to know.
The modishly-masked online crusaders will soon shock our chakras with the truth about apocalyptic confluences predicted by the Mayan Calendar and aether-entities from outer espace. Predictably, the Mainstream Media New World Order 1% Wall Street Ivy League Illuminati White Elite is fighting back.
The recent Anonymous blipvert above, for example, was followed by UPenn (founded by life on Mars expert and immigrant hater Benjamin Franklin) joining the Illuminati conspiracy to discredit the Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 scenario.
One group of chronology-challenged eschatologists even claimed that a recently-discovered calendar — which is older than the Doomsday Calendar — somehow makes the newer calendar wrong. Doh! Illogical!
“Whether they think it will come to an end through the hands of God, or a natural disaster or a political event, whatever the reason, one in seven thinks the end of the world is coming,” said Keren Gottfried, research manager at Ipsos Global Public Affairs which conducted the poll for Reuters.
“Perhaps it is because of the media attention coming from one interpretation of the Mayan prophecy that states the world ‘ends’ in our calendar year 2012,” Gottfried said.
Confused by the controversy? We need some disinformation and we need it now, and that’s why we turned to the Disinformation Company for this video.
This video comes directly from TrueReality.org so you know it’s right:
Irrefutable Evidence of ExtraTerrestrial Contact carved in Stone Thousands of Years ago on Pre-Mayans site. We shall finally change our History’s Books and let humanity knows our True Origins. The World is wakening up! Share the video with your parents and let everyone discuss it rationally and openly.
Part 2 below.
Every day brings us closer to Mayan Doomsday — Mother Earth will not rest.
South of the border, Mexican authorities just raised the alert level at the Popocatepetl volcano outside Mexico City.
The Amarillo incident is on video shot by two DJs from KISS FM who ran out of the studio to capture the ghostly howl (below).
Yo what is up with all this Mayan Doomsday 2012 stuff? We need some disinformation and we need it now, and that’s why we turned to the Disinformation Company for this video. Like check it:
Disinformation Company producer Gary Baddeley, director Nimrod Erez and the Disinformation team contacted and arranged interviews with multiple experts, often obtaining speedy access due to more than ten years of working with them or colleagues in their fields!
Before X Files claimed “the truth is out there,” before anyone heard of the Mayan Apocalypse, visionary Bill Barker raised the alarm, warning the few who would listen about the real illegal immigration threat – the imminent invasion of Gray Aliens from Outer Espace.
For a while, anyhow. Then he went over to Their Side.
Hollywood-born Barker, who recently approached POCHO to sugarcoat his poison meme, claimed:
I “parquito the espanale” a little. And I was raised in East L.A., near Maywood.
This human sellout — channeling thought emanations from Zeta Reticuli — created, built, staffed and managed the SCHWA Corporation, the holding company of the grays. His mission? Carry out the commands of the Alien Overlords and complete the domination of Earth and its clueless Stick People.
Barker proudly gave POCHO his SCHWA World Operations Manual so we could make this video, ribbed for your protection.
(PNS reporting from HELL) GOP Presidential candidate Rick Santorum is making no attempt to distance himself from his inflammatory 2008 remarks accusing Satan of “attacking America” but Satan responded Wednesday, claiming that Santorum is in for a “big surprise.”
Pocho Ñews Service sent especial correspondent S. J. Rivera deep into Hades to interview the Prince of Darkness himself (see: not Ozzy Osbourne.) We wanted Lucifer’s thoughts on Santorum, Sarah Palin, the 2012 election and the Mayan-scheduled end of the world.
PNS: What are your thoughts about what Rick Santorum said about you?
Satan: Look, I’m a busy guy, but did I see his comments? Yes. Frankly I’m amused that he thinks so highly of himself. Every time he calls me I send him directly to voicemail and man, can that dude cry! Have you Googled his last name? Yikes! Rick has a lot in common with that Babeu guy in Arizona and believe me when I say there’s a hot date in both of their futures.
(PNS reporting from the YUCATAN) The emergency Leap Year meeting of the Eschatological Chronology Society ended in disarray here Thursday as doomsday gurus couldn’t agree on whether the Mayan Apocalypse should be calculated in Colored People’s Time, Chicano Time or Jewish Standard Time.
Scientists at the conference were hoping to resolve the question before Leap Day on Feb. 29 and go home with a solid fix on how many days are left before the Lunar-Based Aliens from Mars that NASA is hiding do their Lunatic thing and immanentize the eschaton.
Now the tick-tock boffins will have to reconvene and deduce the time warp again.
Outer espace especial correspondent UFOHunter, the man behind ¡PutaNASA!, is back.
Building on his groundbreaking expose of the links between Mayan Doomsday 2012, gray aliens on the Moon and NASA UFO coverups, Orlando-based Hunter
- reveals shocking details about unearthly sounds heard all around the world
- admits he heard them too
- plays back the recordings for all the Internets to hear
Then he asks the obvious question: IS THIS THE SOUND OF THE MOTHERSHIP?
Not safe for work.
We also released the voicemail Catholic Bishop Gabino Zavala left when he told his boss the Archbishop about his secret life with a chica and two shorties.
The Racist White Ladies video (and response and apology videos) continued to amaze people who thought they’d seen everything from Arizona.
Turns out, Arizona-watchers, you ain’t seen anything, yet!
Click through for the stories and links.
The back story is that when Soviet linguist Yuri Knorozov deciphered the classic Mayan glyphs in 1952, a mini Mayan craze swept Red artistic circles. Propaganda subtext? Your code is not safe, comrade. A deck of playing cards was the result. Meet the Queen of Hearts, a lovely Д is for “dama” (dame or Дама) indeed. And her little chihuahua.
Write the funniest caption, win the funniest prize!
(PNS reporting from MIAMI) The imminent crash – later this week – of a Russian space probe scares local spiritual gurus and national experts alike. All of them fear that the death dive of the Russki rocket is a Cosmic Warning of the Mayan Doomsday, scheduled for Dec. 21. Their big brains, however, are split on ways to prevent the Beginning of the End.
“Oh it’s easy,” one local specialist told PNS. “Just burn the candles.” Futurologist Pat Robertson’s advice is just one word: “Run!”
Russians espace commissars have predicted that fragments from the failed Phobos-Ground probe are expected to fall to Earth around Jan. 15.
What can an ordinary person do?
“Candles, definitely lots of candles,” said S.W. 46th St. curandero Alejandro “La Luz de Jesus” Sosa.
Hatred of the poor edged out racism and homophobia in the Iowa GOP caucuses, a Fresno man was mauled by chihuahuas and died of shame, and the attempt to repeal the California Dream Act failed when the referendum’s backer (photo, right) couldn’t score enough racist jerkwad signatures to get their scheme placed on the ballot.
For these Pochostan stories and more, click here:
The Zapatistas… issued a declaration which amounted to a declaration of war on the Mexican government, which they considered so out of touch with the will of the people as to make it completely illegitimate.
Welcome to 2012, the last year, according to the Mayan Calendar, which predicts the end of the world on Dec. 21. No worries – we have what you need:
- A countdown clock on the right so you can sync your watch for the big day
- This New Age technomuzak didactic rap video by Gurudevi which links the Mayan wisdom to a properly calibrated understanding of the 13-month-cycles of noospheric spacetime (WARNING DON’T WATCH THIS VIDEO IF YOU ARE DRIVING):
Tweet-comic Jon Hendren proved it on Xmas and Boxing Day when he retweeted people’s bitching about not getting the gifts they wanted. Boohoo, they moaned – no one loves me enough to give me the muy caro gadget I need sooo sooo badly.
I, on the other hand, was sad because I had no iPad … until I met a man who had no nalgas. Lookit these screenshots of Tweets: