[Guest Editorial] Let’s face it, Morrissey was bad for Egypt

Morrissey was neither qualified nor cholafied to run Egypt. Totally in the Nile.

Srsly. “By order of the Prophet,” he banned that boogie sound. WTF?

Muslim Brotherhood, my peckerwood! If the rebels get re-Tweeted, the tyrant is defeated.

In ancient Africa, the pharoahs and pharoahitas communicated with Sirius the Dog Star — long before the white devils barked at the Moon. Nubians found the Monolith, and we were nubies no more.

Yet Morrissey told the boogie men, “You have to let that raga drop. The oil down the desert way been shakin’ to the top.” Like an Islamist Pat Robertson, this anti-boogie baboso thinks the natural gas pipelines in the Sinai that supply Jordan and Israel are broken because of rock and roll.

“Sharia don’t like it,” said Al-Moz, “all this rockin’ the Casbah!” This guy just could not read the hieroglyphs on the wall. He’s all like, “Tut tut tut — it’s Greek to me!”

Something is rotten in the state of Egypt and it sphinx to high heaven!

And the straw that broke the burro’s back? Confronted by 33 million people (video) protesting in the street, walking like Egyptians, what was the Al-Moz response?

As I live and breathe you have killed me, you have killed me. Yes, I walk around somehow but you have killed me, you have killed me.

Morrissey treated every day like Sunday, and society and the economy took a flying carpet ride to Hell. Have the missing stones on the pyramids been replaced yet? No, they have not. Is there pita for everyone at Wholal Foods, not to mention kale and hummus, and the wasabi peas — I like those. No guey, Jose. Are Coptic Christians regularly attacked and beaten and sometimes even killed? Well, yes, but a bloke can’t be all bad, can he, habibi?

The revolution has been YouTube-ized, Al-Moz. Hasta salaam aleikum!


Guest columnist Emiliano Zapata “EZ” Shabazz-Jones is the newly-appointed director of the Ricky Martin Luther King Thing in Spanish Harlem and has been a valuable contributor to previous POCHO “think pieces”: