Go for it! Actually try that loco New York Times pea guacamole recipe that has been dividing the nation. Worst case scenario, it’s guácala but you can call your mama and brag to her that you ate an entire vegetable. Maybe she’ll make you some real guacamole as a reward!
Got a fierce sweet tooth? Scandalize everyone by making this dessert guacamole with lots and lots of chocolate!
Impress your Filipino friends by making this sabroso avocado milkshake with condensed milk. (Tell the metiches that ask you what it is that it’s full of nopales!)
Eyy are times tough?? Maybe the drought has you down and your pinche avocado tree only made one sad-ass avocado? Try mixing plenty of yogurt into your guacamole to make that little aguacatito seem like an aguacatote.
Are you bien pinche rico?? Do you own a gold toothbrush? Then maybe you should make this fancy-pantsy caviar guacamole.
OK, pochos. Here’s the real deal. Here’s what you do. You watch the news, realize that people are taking Donald Trump for realsies as our new El Presidente, freak out and go to your neighborhood supermarket and buy their awful storebrand guacamole (the one that makes your abuela so triste). You rage-eat that whole tub and you register to vote because you care about cosas other than what weird shit goes in your guacamole.