Area executive thinks about delicious lunch torta all day long

hungryguy(PNS reporting from LAREDO) District III Regional Supervisor Pablo Gutierrez, 35, could not wait for yesterday’s pinche lunch break to begin so he could buy a firme torta at Joaquin’s Lonchera.

“Tortas were all I could think about,” the middle management exec told PNS Monday evening.

“I mean, when Andy from Financing handed me all those reports, I said ‘thanks’ but I was really imagining that he was a giant slice of avocado in my torta.”

Mas…Area executive thinks about delicious lunch torta all day long

No justice, no peas? Eight excellent ways to rock the guac

timesguac

  1. Go for it! Actually try that loco New York Times pea guacamole recipe that has been dividing the nation. Worst case scenario, it’s guácala but you can call your mama and brag to her that you ate an entire vegetable. Maybe she’ll make you some real guacamole as a reward!
  2. Got a fierce sweet tooth? Scandalize everyone by making this dessert guacamole with lots and lots of chocolate!
  3. Impress your Filipino friends by making this sabroso avocado milkshake with condensed milk. (Tell the metiches that ask you what it is that it’s full of nopales!)
  4. Just go ahead and throw everything in your ethnic identity in a bowl with this Chorizo-Queso Fresco-Guacamole!!

    Mas…No justice, no peas? Eight excellent ways to rock the guac

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: On Father’s Day I think about my ex’s chorizo

leavingmanHola. Is Tia Lencha here.

After many jears of being divorce from mijo’s daddy, (that’s a photo of him leaving I took for the lawyer), I share with ju the recipe I make for the Father’s Day, which is on Sunday. When I think of mijo’s daddy, I think of chorizo.

Oso, when I see a good looking chorizo at the store, I think of mijo’s daddy. Get jur mind out of the trash can, cochinos. Is because mijo’s daddy make really good chorizo!

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: On Father’s Day I think about my ex’s chorizo

‘Chicken ‘N Waffles’ flavored syrup for coffee is racist, critics say

(PNS reporting from ATLANTA) After narrowly beating “Flamin’ Hot Cheetos,” “Kool Super Longs” and “40-Ounce Malt Liquor” to become the syrup flavor that “most accurately captures the taste of the African-American experience,” the winner, Chicken ‘N Waffles syrup, has been put into production by syrup giant Torani.

The family-owned company, known for sweet coffee additives like vanilla and chocolate syrups, is convinced white Americans will crave “the special tang this sweet ‘n’ sassy syrup adds” to the four-dollar lattes they consume several times a day.

Torani’s move is “baffling” and “an outrage,” Clarence K. Dabra, president of the Atlanta-based American Black Restauranteurs Association (ABRA) told PNS.

Mas…‘Chicken ‘N Waffles’ flavored syrup for coffee is racist, critics say

Protestors target Monsanto’s plans for soy ‘chicharrones’ (updated)

(PNS reporting from MISSOURI) Busloads of pro-pig activists from Texas converged on Monsanto’s St. Louis headquarters here today to protest the chemical/agricultural mega-corporation’s plans to produce extruded soy flaps meant to replace natural chicharrones.

Bearing signs that read “NO PORK NO PEACE,” “WE WANT LARD FOR OUR MONEY” and “SAY NO TO SOY CHICHARRONES,” the so-called Occupy Monsanto movement plans to shut down traffic around the corporate campus until they get a response from Monsanto. [UPDATE: MONSANTO STATEMENT BELOW.]

The group was confronted by counter demonstrators from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) who carried signs proclaiming “PIGS ARE PEOPLE TOO.” Some scantily-clad female PETA protestors threatened a sex strike to protest actual pig parts consumption. “WANT BOINK? NO OINK!” read one sign.

Mas…Protestors target Monsanto’s plans for soy ‘chicharrones’ (updated)