Tia Lencha’s Cocina Podcast: Valentime’s Day Aphrodisiac Salsa

Hello pochos y pochas! Guess gwhat? Tia Lencha has a special surprise for ju for Valentimes Day! A new podcast! Yes! Now ju can hear Tia Lencha on the google! (Actually m’ijo says it’s Tia Lencha’s Cocina on iTunes and Spotify podcasts).

Anygways, I haf so mush to tell ju!

Gwhy did I make the podcast? Ju may gwonder. I gwas tire of ladies writing to me saying that I make so mush grammatical mistakes when I talk. I no make grammatical mistakes! They just don know how to read Espanglish.

How did I make the podcast? Ju may gwonder. M’ijo stopped playing video games long enough to put Tia Lencha’s voice on the google. (He say it’s not the google, but ju know what I mean, verdad?).

Who is in the podcast? Ju may gwonder. Is me, and M’ijo’s Daddy (played by actor David Acosta). M’ijo’s Daddy got dump by the Eskeleton Lady and now he hang around Tia Lencha’s house eberyday like one of those flies that get in the house and ju can’t get out.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina Podcast: Valentime’s Day Aphrodisiac Salsa

Top Chef’s Katsuji Tanabe makes guacamole at his Chicago place BARRIO (video)

When is a taco not a taco? What does the Icelandic chef say? (video)

This Seafood Taco in a Nordic Style LOOKS LIKE A TACO but except for the fish, there is not one ingredient you’d see in a taco in your neighborhood. The “tortilla” is made from rye flour, the “skyr sauce” is some kind of Icelandic yogurt, and the fennel and watercress are not your abuelita’s pico de gallo. All in all, it might be delish. But is it a taco? Discuss. [EDITOR’s NOTE: Canadians have craftily rebranded “rapeseed oil.” We North Americans call it “Canola” eh.]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: I Teash You How to Make the Three Kings Bread

Hello! Is Tia Lencha here! Today I teash you to make the Three Kings Bread, ju know, the one with the Baby Jesus in it? Jes, tha one.

I haf many things to celebrate, m’ijo get good grades, he has good healthy, he still helps me put my recipes on the google, and oso, Tia Lencha has a novio. Jes, a new one. Don’t jodge. His name is Axl Rosen. He is a Jewish. He didn’t know what the Three Kings Bread is, so I make for him.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: I Teash You How to Make the Three Kings Bread

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Mi Thanksgiving Day turkey al pastor tacos

lenchatacosHappy Mexican Thanksgiving Day!

Is Tia Lencha here. Gwhat is Mexican Thanksgiving Day you ask? Is Thanksgiving but with all Mexican food. What?!?! My gringo frends say. Oh no! How you can do that! Is crazy! And Tia Lencha say, no really.

When I help mijo with his homeworks, I learn that Thanksgiving come from a Puritan holiday in Englands. When it was the Reformation the Protestantes wanted to throw away all the Catholic holidays, even Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny!

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Mi Thanksgiving Day turkey al pastor tacos

Pork People Present: A Puerto Rican’s Michoacan-style carnitas

The National Pork Board wants you to eat more of “the other white meat” and got Puerto Rico-born, Miami-based, Asian-gastropub-owning chef José Mendín to share how he makes Michoacan-style pork carnitas. We’re surprised by his use of condensed milk in the recipe, but that shows why we’re not a five-time James Beard Award nominee and he is!

Worst taco recipe ever has thyme, mustard, sugar, and pickles (video)

In Lyon, France, the folks at Bnin claim to make tacos with mustard, ketchup, thyme, sugar, mayonnaise, pickled cucumbers, “pomme frites” and “sandwich cheese” then wrap them up in flour tortillas like a burrito and toast them in a panini press. Unclear on the concept, don’t you think?

Their ingredients:

Lạ miệng với tacos cá hồi kiểu Mexico (video)

Lạ miệng với tacos cá hồi kiểu Mexico
Công thức nấu ăn:
Hãy thử một lần thưởng thức món tacos cá hồi xem sao nhé, đảm bảo bạn sẽ thích.
Tacos – một món ăn lâu đời của Mexico – được những người Châu Âu đầu tiên trong những cuộc viễn chinh đã khám phá và du nhập khắp Nam Mỹ, Châu Âu, Trung Đông và Châu Á. Giống với sandwich, tacos được tạo nên bằng nhiều loại thức ăn đã được chuẩn bị theo những cách khác nhau và có thể ăn tacos như một món khai vị hoặc bữa ăn nhẹ.

Mas…Lạ miệng với tacos cá hồi kiểu Mexico (video)

How about some deep-fried fresh tuna tacos? (video)

Check out these yummy looking tacos de atun (tuna) prepared in the style of Baja fish tacos — i.e, deep fried, but with pico de gallo instead of cabbage and (no comment) flour tortillas. [This recipe video was made for the EL ROSAL masa harina people, in Tijuana.]

The Food Network says ‘taco cones’ are the ‘new tacos’ (video)

Opinions are like culos; everybody has one. The Food Network is of the opinion that “taco cones” are the “new tacos,” for example, and Christopher Columbus thought he “discovered” a “new world.” Trump thinks he has the best “taco bowls.” Not so fast, you bad hombres! If you circumcise the tips of the cones, what is gonna keep all the juices inside? #fncravings, huh?

How to make ‘Mexican Chicken’ (Welsh recipe video)

As we consider the ramifications of the United Kingdom’s election yesterday, let us not lose sight of the fact that the U.K. is comprised of three separate entities — England, Scotland, and Wales. In Wales, they speak and write Welsh, with all those long words and weird consonants, and also make taco casseroles.

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Cinco de Mayo fruity virgin Micheladas for ju

Hola! Is Tia Lencha here.

tiacincoI going to help ju make a new drink for Cinco de Mayo. Is fruity and a virgin. Ju know, with no beers. Get jur mind out of the trash can, cochinos!

I think of the new drink when mijo ask me to taste my watermelons michelada. I think to myself, what if he like it? Will he want to drink beers? I don’t want him to be like mijo’s daddy who drink beers and fall asleep in the tub with his chonies wet with his own pee pee (thas urine for ju pochos). So I make mijo a drink, one that is virgin, and he taste it and he like it, and I taste it and I like it.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Cinco de Mayo fruity virgin Micheladas for ju

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Mijo’s Manly Breakfast Burrito

The other day mijo say he gwanted a burrito for breakfast.

“OK,” I say, and I start to look for my refry beans.

“No,” mijo say. That is the burrito you make me gwhen I was little.”

“Ju don’t like it?” I say.

“I gwant somesing more like for a man.”

“A man?”

“Ju know, a man that goes to gwork and he has a burrito wrapped in aluminio.” (That’s aluminum foil for ju pochos).

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Mijo’s Manly Breakfast Burrito

From England: Chicken teriyaki tacos with pineapple salsa (video)

Looks pretty good, actually. A legit chicken teriyaki recipe, authentic pico de gallo/salsa made with grilled piña, and of course everything tastes better on a tortilla. We have three questions, though:

  1. Where did the rice come from?
  2. How can it be a “healthier” with a lettuce wrap instead of a tortilla? Corn tortillas are GLUTEN FREE, ENGLISH DUDE. Also, no tortilla, no taco.
  3. Wassup with the Christmas music soundtrack on a video uploaded March 27?