Religious figures to Guadalupe: You’re a ‘miraculous appearance hog’

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(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) Leading Catholic personalities gathered here this week to address a simmering controversy in the official Divine Advent & Manifestation Union (DAMU): members claim that La Virgen de Guadalupe (photo, center) is a publicity hog when it comes to miraculous appearances.

“Can’t the Son of God just miraculously appear on a slice of toast without someone copying me?” asked Jesus Christ (photo, right). “Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for faith and everything, but she goes out of her way to appear on everything! Am I right, people?”

Another virgin in attendance, rarely-seen La Virgen de San Juan (photo, left), said that although she’s “totally cool” with being a lesser-known virgin, she will never be able to grow her Twitter following or sell more CDs when Guadalupe is always “hogging the spotlight.”

“The union has rules for a reason, so everyone has a chance at appearing on tortillas or an oil stain,” San Juan told PNS. “I don’t expect to be number one — I mean, c’mon, we’re talking about the Mother of God here — but I do expect my fair share.”

Mas…Religious figures to Guadalupe: You’re a ‘miraculous appearance hog’

MEXCLUSIVE: Trump’s Pocho Ocho Most Awkward Income Tax Deductions

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donaldbill

Donald Trump’s leaked tax returns prove he played the system to avoid paying his fair share of taxes.

The lamestream media is all over the big ticket items, so POCHO’s crack team went extra deep into the documents to find some smaller write offs the Donald didn’t want the public to see.

We call these Mexclusive discoveries Donald Trump’s Pocho Ocho Most Awkward Income Tax Deductions:

8. Loss carry-forward on Cheeto Powder Commodity Futures Trading

7. Weaves-Я-Us Perpetual Care

6. Depreciation on WifeBot2000

Mas…MEXCLUSIVE: Trump’s Pocho Ocho Most Awkward Income Tax Deductions

BREAKING: Pals fret as local man fails to thank God it’s Friday

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(PNS reporting from PHILADELPHIA) Friends and neighbors of Daniel Cardenas are frantically texting each other this morning after his ex-girlfriend Flora Moreno noticed the 28-year-old regional insurance manager didn’t share a new TGIF meme on his Facebook, something he had done weekly since 2010.

throwbackthursday
“He’s usually reliable as clockwork,” Moreno noted in a group chat.

“He posts something cynical about the work week on Mondays, taco memes on Tuesdays, ‘hump day’ jokes on Wednesdays, some retro shit on Throwback Thursdays, and every Friday, a new Thank God It’s Friday pic.”

The fact that Thursday’s #TBT cover photo (above) remained on Cardenas’ FB wall as of 6 AM PDT Friday morning scared her, she said.

Mas…BREAKING: Pals fret as local man fails to thank God it’s Friday

Take back Latino Heritage Month and #EndHispandering!

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hispanderingOn September 14 a Latina friend of mine who’s also a college professor said to me, “Brace yourself for Hispanic Heritage Month, I’m already getting phone calls about recommendations for mariachi bands.”

I laughed a bit, but her comment stayed with me. See, she’s half Colombian and I’m Puerto Rican, and the idea of becoming the “go to” people about such things struck me as, well, just another example of how stereotypes about Latinos often work.

The fact that people are asking her about mariachi bands reveals how U.S. society usually lumps us together under the umbrella label “Latino/a” or “Hispanic” despite our cultural differences and diversity.

At the same time, her warning (“brace yourself”) fittingly captured how many Latinxs/Hispanics feel about Hispanic Heritage Month (which I prefer to call Latino Heritage Month because I find it more inclusive, less Spanish-oriented).

Mas…Take back Latino Heritage Month and #EndHispandering!

Happy Rosh HaShana from the Jews of Tijuana! Happy 5777! (video)

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tijuanaMexico, like the United Estates, is a “nation of immigrants.”

In the 1900s, Tijuana welcomed Jewish refugees fleeing wars, hate and poverty in Europe, Asia and the Mideast.

Tijuana Jews, the story of the extended Artenstein family, has become a POCHO Rosh HaShana (New Year) tradition ever since we noticed rosh-ha-shana rhymed with Tijuana in 2012.

Mas…Happy Rosh HaShana from the Jews of Tijuana! Happy 5777! (video)

The face of Peru’s Lord of Sipán, 2000-year-old warrior-priest (video)

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[one_half]sipanskull[/one_half][one_half_last]sipanrecreate[/one_half_last]The Lord of Sipan may have died 2000 years ago, but 3D reconstructions revealed last week have shown he looked just like his descendants — the indigenous peoples of the Andes today.

Fom The Daily Mail:

The skull of one of the most famous archaeological finds of the twentieth century has been reconstructed using 3D imaging.

Mas…The face of Peru’s Lord of Sipán, 2000-year-old warrior-priest (video)

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