POCHO Estaff Reports: The Real Turkeys of Thanksgiving

POCHO’s Especial Correspondents spread out across America yesterday observing Thanksgiving (just like normal people!) and sent in notes about their day. Some names were changed to avoid unpredictable results.  Read their stories and share your own in the comments!

Homeboy in East Los: My family’s so Mexican we carved the turkey with a switchblade ·IN MEMORY of SMILEY·

Dateline, Austin: MEChA cousin Xochiloctl is in the living room refusing to eat turkey and playing Call of Duty instead.

Nancy in Santana, the O.C.: That awkward moment when three-year-old Cousin Ricardo makes a big announcement that everybody better finish their plates because Mommy spent the whole day cooking the dog.

ATV in San Diego: My brother brought his new white wife and it wasn’t 45 minutes before she told me to go back to Mexico. And I’m like hey I was born here so STFU. And what about my brother?!  This woman is a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a tortilla.  A stupid “artisanal tortilla” with flax seeds and shit!

La Pikla down to visit family in Miami: Someone had to bring their Anglo GF to dinner:

La Tejana writes: The women in the kitchen are all about the chismes and it turns out Tia Carlita snuck away to have a baby when she was 16!

Barney Asada,  West Los Angeles: Turkey tacos with hummus and Sriracha. God Bless America!

From Filadelfia comes the men’s discussion in the den: Remember when Tio Moreno had to move to Sherman Oaks because of the money he owed the loan sharks?

ATV in San Diego: No mames! Now my brother’s new Anglo wife is apologizing and offering me a blanket.

Rob near Denver: Where did the kids go? Who is shooting off fireworks in the chicken coop?

Overheard in Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Only time will tell if my sperimental Mexican turduckhen will taste goo. Mexican turduckhen? A pollo inside a guajolote inside a chivito — thass a chicken inside a turkey inside a young goat for you pochos. How do you know when a polloguajovito is done, anyhows? I am poking this chivo like mijo’s father poked his “secretary.”

From our Floridita correspondent: You know it’s time to go home when you see a pop-up timer pop-up on Cousin Rubio’s forehead. He’s no scientist.

POCHOS: Let’s hear about what happened at your house!