Our Mexican friends have many misconceptions about today’s American celebration of El Ocho de Mayo. It is NOT the day the British burned the White House, for example, and it is NOT the day Gerry Rivers became Geraldo Rivera.
Help a hermano out with the Pocho Ocho Top Facts Mexicans Should Know about El Ocho de Mayo:
8. Best (Hellman’s in the East) Mayonnaise — El Jefe de Mayo — first introduced on this day in 1915.
7. Mayo West did not invent the life vest but she did flash her chichis to the sailors of the aircraft carrier USS Hooter on this day in 1942.
6. The Mayo Clinic — originally established to seek cures for La Cruda — opened its doors on this day in 1955.
5. In France they call El Ocho de Mayo something different — wait for it — IN FRENCH.
4. In 1814, we took a little trip, along with Colonel Jackson up the mighty Mississip.
3. On May 8, 1898 President-to-be Teddy Roosevelt and his “Rough Riders” set out for Cuba and the Spanish-American War. This intervention in Latin American affairs is considered “rough sex” in the U.S.A. and rape everywhere else.
2. La Doña Juanita Celina Elisa Sara Xochitlyauctemoc, the first tamalera in El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles de Porciúncula, set up shop on this date in 1824 on Calle E.J. Olmos, now known Olvera Street. Specialty: Tamales de Nopales from the Valleys.
And the numero uno top fact our Mexican friends should know about the American celebration of El Ocho de Mayo is…
Minorities “riot.” White people “celebrate.”
Professor Equis, Eres Nerd, Tia Lencha, and Comic Saenz contributed to this report.