Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FLA) sure drank a lot of Poland Spring® water during his Republican State of the Union rebuttal speech Tuesday night.
Here are the pocho ocho reasons the GOP’s Great Brown Hope was so thirsty:
8. He’s a pinche mojado
7. Global warming
6. He finds this bullshit hard to swallow himself
5. My name is Marco and I am an aquaholic
4. Poland Spring — the Republican answer to Arab Spring
3. Too caliente for fellow Republicans
2. Water keeps the heroin balloons down
And the numero uno reason Sen. Marco Rubio drank so much water is…
Stay thirsty my friends!
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