From Topeka to Tallahassee, Denver to Danvers, America suffers the scourge of inauthentic Mexican food.
Twitter has outed the worst offenders, sure, but equally troubling is the oft-neglected emergence of Mexican restaurants that are TOO authentic.
How will you know when you’ve entered the danger zone? You’re about to find out.
Here are the Pocho Ocho top signs your Mexican restaurant is too pinche authentic:
8. There’s a drunk man standing outside the restroom charging you for toilet paper.
7. The horchata is room temperature.
6. They don’t have change for your $20.
5. There’s a soccer game on TV, a corrido on the sound system, and a guy with a machine gun guarding the bottles of Coke.
4. There’s no menu in sight…because it’s painted on the wall.
3. Abuela is in the kitchen, Mom at the register and the Dad outside in the back smoking weed.
2. You’re pretty sure the waiter just said something about your mother in Spanish.
And the Numero Uno Top Sign Your Mexican Restaurant Is Too Authentic is…
The restaurant smells like Caldo de Fabuloso.
Carlos Aguilar is a writer and producer who runs the comedic parenting blog bigbrowndad.com
Photo credit: Taco Loco Mexican and Salvadorian Restaurant was located at 900 W. 7th Avenue in Eugene, Oregon. Date: 23 March 2017, 08:02 Source: Taco Loco Mexican and Salvadorian Restaurant Author:Rick Obst from Eugene, United States Wikimedia Commons. Some rights reserved.